January 03, 2012

Focusing In

New year's resolutions are usually attempts to take better care of ourselves, and in truth, love ourselves more. Be it emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually.

From experience I know that I take much better care of everything in my life when I'm greedy enough to take care of myself first.

We are all much happier, I think, when we take the time to do this.

To put this to the test- next time you feel unhappy- notice what you are unhappy about. It is likely going to be, at least in part, about not taking good care of your "self".

Personally, I think it should be point #1 in the course of Personal Management 101, not to mention in aging gracefully.

So why is it so hard for so many people to focus in and put themselves first?

It may be in part because many people avoid change and the unwelcome emotions that come with it, explains an article in Fortune about why new year's resolutions are so hard to keep.

For instance, losing weight successfully -and long term- is not usually attainable if we don't pull up the veil and deal with why we overeat and stop reaching for the solace of food when we aren't hungry.

My friend Aldra at Consciously Frugal wrote a great post last week on compulsive behavior, if you are interested.

Also, if your goal this year is about exercising more, especially in the pool, Women Magazine is featuring an article about yours truly called Swimming Spirit. Among other things, it has tips for getting started with swimming.

Aside from eating well and exercising, I thought I'd mention a few other new years resolutions that might ring a bell with many of you. I know they do with me:

  • Stop being consumed by things we cannot control. 
  • Stop worrying: so much of our stress comes from impending disasters that never happen or worrying about things that really don't matter.
  • Stop freaking out about the economy.
  • Stop saying "yes" when we want to say "no". A good way to do this, if it is hard for you, is to say that you need to think about it first, and then circle back around to the person with your answer.
  • Stop worrying about where we will be in 5 or 10 years. Think about what we want to do and less about what we want to be.
If we are doing what we want, than chances are that we will be where we want to be.

Photo by Orlando Pinto, Portugal


  1. Thanks for the shout out, sister! I just have to throw this out there, for the perfectly healthy and stable weight women who feel that they must lose weight--sometimes the body simply does not want to, because it isn't healthy. I want everyone to read "Health at Every Size" by Linda Bacon. Now, for compulsive eaters like me, it's a different song and dance, but not everyone packing extra weight is a compulsive eater. Or even needs to lose the weight. Just sayin'.

    ANYHOO, yeah. Self-care. I find it to be an annoying chore. I finally starting to realize that it's actually freedom and the key to health. I mean, duh, right? I'm a bit slow it seems. :P

  2. Thank you for the book recommendation CF. It's so important to remember that bodies come in all sizes and how quickly people forget that the bodies we see in the media have frequently been dieted and starved to death.

    I have a theory on body size. I think when we are eating what we love and eat when we are truly hungry, and not for other reasons, our bodies will self-regulate to the weight they are suppose to be at.

    Thanks for your comment Aldra :-)

  3. I agree completely! And thank you so much for taking the time to make this corner of the web a place of empowerment--loving self-care, embracing aging and all that goes with it, and the celebration of life. Gotta love Lines of Beauty. :)