March 31, 2019

Choosing Hope Over Fear

my ode to my mom & dad, the birch tree lovers
"It's easy to get overwhelmed...

to wake up at 3AM questioning every decision you've ever made.

It's easy to feel like your life isn't working or your plans aren't panning out.

That's the fear.

When you feel that make a decision to replace it with hope and trust instead.

Trust yourself and where your life is going.

Trust the chances you're taking.

Always pick hope over fear."


~Awesome wisdom from
Maya Angelou

March 30, 2019

The Tapestry

After an almost 2 year separation, MR. FIX-IT and I have been living under the same roof, having a new look at our 35-year relationship, through the lens of all that we have learned while apart, as well as sometimes together, but most importantly perhaps, through the lens of learning about ADULT ADHD and it's impact on our connection and our disconnection.

I’m looking at our marriage as a complex floor tapestry, which it has always been, but now with new light, shown upon its intricacy.

Much of the tapestry got sucked into a vacuum cleaner and torn while being vacuumed the last two years. 

So we've set about mending it.

Attempting to reweave a torn union, mending it where is needs repair, but also adding in the new stands of colors, that have been missing.

Can we make a masterpiece out of the remnants?

This I know, 

there is a lot of love here

and I’ve survived the torn and tatters, as the HEALING continues.

I've new perspective and understanding, but most importantly, compassion and better communication.

You know how Sully successfully landed that plane on the Hudson River?

Knowing what I do now, can I execute the same with my marriage? Is it possible for it to land better than it ever was? 

These are the questions that I’ve been thinking about it. 

These are the ponderings that when I’m an old lady, 

that I’ll be happy I took the time to explore.

Marriage, like all relationships of course, isn't about landing the perfect triple gainer dive off the high board of life.

It is organically complicated, very WABI- SABI and always a work in progress.

And hopefully with its own sprinkling of soul magic.


💗💗