November 26, 2015

When The Walls Come Down

I like this collage I made a few years back so much that I'm recycling it again.

This year, as always, I am grateful for many things but I think the thing at the tippy-top is my mom who will be 94 in January. As some of you know, for the last 3 years she has lived close-by, instead of almost 500 miles away. This of course has brought responsibility into my life but it has also brought a wonderful intimacy with her that was hard to have for so many years because I was either being a ratty teenager, or because of the long distance between us, or because I was sleep deprived and busy having my own family. Or because when we saw each other it was frequently at a large family gathering and our relationship got diluted.

Or maybe because we just didn't quite know how to do it.

I guess what I want to say it that I am grateful for our relationship. Sometimes I see us as this ball of yarn where, like an onion, the layers are slowly unraveling and being made into something anew- as our intimacy unfolds and we reach to know and love each other, even more.

But at the same time we are a ball of yarn that is winding larger and firmer- from the life experience that we are sharing about aging, and vulnerability and what it is to be a human being.

As I write this brings tears to my eyes.

Many years ago I made up a simple little grace to say at dinner with Mr- Fix-It and the kids that better represented what I personally wanted to say each night then other prayers that I've heard.

It goes like this:

Let us be thankful for all that we have.

For our health

And our home

But especially, for each other.

Each day is a blessing.


Happy Thanksgiving, dear readers of  mine.


November 21, 2015

From Paris with Love

I've no business being on here as I haven't even begun to make-ready for hosting Thanksgiving...

Doesn't the web take the cake for all procrastinating?

This week I've watched a fair amount of TV, whilst knitting away, which is unusual for me (and kind of nice). Except if I wasn't careful, too much of it covered the terrible, devastating Paris terror attacks.

In the midst of it all, however, I saw this little nugget of a Parisian father trying to quell the fears of his little boy.

If you haven't seen it already, it's really lovely.

Thank you to Econesting and Carin for the video.


November 14, 2015

How Very Short the Endless Days Will Run

A Watsu Pool

Inside you know 
Inside you understand
Inside you know what’s yours to finally set right
And i suggest
And i suggest to you
And i suggest this is the best part of your life
This is a song
Comes from the west to you
Comes from the west, comes from the slowly setting sun
This is a song
With a request of you
To see how very short the endless days will run
And when they’re gone
And when the dark descends
We’d give anything for one more hour of life
May i suggest
This is best part of your life

~Susan Werner (of Red Molly) 

I am fresh off a women's empowerment/tantra weekend where I joined 17 like-minded souls for a few days of discussion, energy work, healing and celebrating. We also had a chance to spend time in a body-temperature watsu pool, which I loved.

I had heard (and felt) that creative and sexual energy are connected but now that I have a better understanding of the 7 chakras, I know it for sure.

I have to hunker back down the rabbit hole and begin work on another knitwear design project but I wanted to post first and include the very beautiful song, May I Suggest, (below) from the retreat.

I hope you all have a nice weekend,

November 06, 2015

Stopping The Whining

In all my years of observing health and fitness, and lack of it, both in myself and in those around me, this is probably the most inspirational story I've ever heard.

Seventy-seven year old Constance Tillit started exercising for the very first time ever and has turned her health and life around, in an unbelievable way.

As Constance says, "Get up and do it. Stop with the whining. Stop with the, 'You've got to take care of me.' and take care of YOURSELF."

More great fitness stories from women ages 66-97 here.

Thanks to Brenda at Claim Your Worth for sending this in.

October 31, 2015

Rot in the Deck

Just between you and me, more than I wish that I was a bit more intellectual, I wish I was funnier. Humor makes me giddy inside but unfortunately, instead of being dealt the Irish funny bone, I was born with the WASPY "Don't make a spectacle of yourself" gene. Gheesh. The upside is that I totally appreciate funny people, and funny things, and always notice them- most likely in an effort to alleviate the more serious thinking that sometimes goes on inside my little noggin.

Plus I haven't given up on myself as I see my mom becoming funnier the older she grows.

Praise be!

Ever since the lunar eclipse/super moon last month, things have been, well... kind of strange. I even made a list of everything that has gone askew. I can't share every one elses business of course but I can share that in addition to many of those around me that have been struggling, that 6 people I know have died ( 3 that had good long lives and 3 who didn't) and that I stepped backwards into a large hole where Mr. Fix-It was fixing the rot in on our deck and threw my neck and back out.

It seems however that this week's super moon has brought things back into balance. And then of course- maybe last month's lunar eclipse didn't have anything to do with any of this.

But I kind of doubt it!

The video below, although not funny, is a flash mob in New Zealand- led by a 90-year-old who moves like someone half her age.

They make me want to get up and dance.

Happy Halloween everyone.

October 24, 2015

Under The Porch

Autumnal bestowal
The further I wake into this life, the more I realize that love is everywhere and the extraordinary is waiting quietly beneath the skin of all that is ordinary. Light is in both the broken bottle and the diamond, and music is in both the flowing violin and the water dripping from the drainage pipe. Yes, love is under the porch as well as on top of the mountain, and joy is in both the front row and the bleachers, if we are willing to be where we are.

~M. Nepo

Thank you to Terry Lee for this.

October 17, 2015

Flower Girl

Time for a little lightness and beauty, amid the sorrow, even though I've seen beauty and inspiration in death's darkness.

British celebrity make-up artist, Lisa Eldridge, was featured on the Today Show a few years back and of course the video for applying make-up on "mature faces" went viral.

Love her accent.

My personal make-up regimen is all but about 3 minutes long but she is an inspiration to spend a little more time in front of the mirror!

As waking up the face,
by applying a bit of color,
is kind of like having a bouquet of flowers in the room :-)


October 10, 2015

When the Wheels Fall Off

1000 Figs
Last weekend we went to a wonderous family wedding in New Orleans. My nephew and his bride own the restaurant 1000 Figs and the food truck The Fat Falafel. Their wedding hit the top tier of all weddings that I've ever attended in terms of creativity, fun, and of course, great food.

The merriment was, as it frequently is, way too short.

We returned to the craziness and realities of regular life. I am knee deep in a corporate knitwear design project, which is really fun, but in other areas of life, it feels kind of like the wheels are falling off the bus.

Mid-week we received the news that dear friends of ours lost their son to his long, courageous fight with brain cancer. He was not even 30.

The same day we learned that our much beloved tantra coach, Steve Carter, was murdered on a hiking trail while walking his dog in Marin Country. He and his dog were shot by 3 kids who then stole his car. Luckily, they were caught on video getting gas not too far away and were apprehended in Portland with the aid of the GPS in the car. To add to this, in July, Steve's wife, Lokita, was diagnosed with a rare and very aggressive form of breast cancer and is fighting for her life. If this isn't enough, their tantra yoga retreat center burned to the ground last month in the forest fires.

I awoke on Thursday morning at 5am sobbing, like I have not, since my father died 14 years ago.

I am struck with a deep deep sadness, but also with how quickly, life can change on a dime.

September 30, 2015

Soul Convergence

I have a story to share.

A true story.

It happened the other night after the super moon.

A few months ago a good friend of mine from high school came to visit. She said then that her aging parents were both struggling with health problems and were deteriorating quickly.

Eventually they had to be placed in two different care facilities. Her mom, in a memory care home, one hour away from her dad.

After the moon did its lunar eclipse on Sunday night, her mom awoke at 2:00am. She looked at a photo of her husband and herself next to her bed and told the nurse on duty that they were going to Mexico together the next day.

They had married in Mexico 43 years ago. It was a second marriage for both of them.

At 3:19am her husband passed away.

And a few minutes later, she did too.

When the nursing staff found her, one of her arms was up as if reaching for something.

Perhaps it was him.

As one of their 6 daughters said, "Perhaps he was saying, 'Hurry up honey, pack your bags, we're leaving now' and grabbing her by the hand."

I can't stop thinking about the synchronicity of them both dying within minutes of each other.

And how quite likely the gravitational pull of the moon had something to do with them being able to make their exit together.

Just as they would have liked, no doubt.

A love story, actually.

September 21, 2015


9am Thursday: garbage/recycling out
9:30 Thursday: transfer grocery $ (to college child)
10am: 20 push-ups
5pm Mon and Wed: hydrate for swim practice
10:30pm: Time to wrap it up

I've been using the reminder app on my Iphone for 
about a year to remind me to do things and it's been very helpful.

Except for one thing-

the 10:30pm "time to wrap it up" reminder.

This is supposedly a reminder to myself that I have 30 minutes to finish whatever I'm doing, get in bed, read and get a good night's sleep.

But it rarely works.

The ding goes off on my phone and I usually look at it 
and think "Yeh yeh I don't feel like going to bed right now."
It's like having a nagging parent because I'm a perennial night owl and love the evening.

But the truth is that saying up late and being sleep deprived the next day never benefits me. 
It's terrible self care.
It makes the circles under my eyes worse.
It gives me less bandwidth for my long list of responsibilities 
and I know that getting enough sleep is high on the list for maintaining health.

Yada yada yada....

So I thought to myself-

Maybe I need to edit the 10:30 "time to wrap it up" and make it more of an affirmation?
Maybe I should edit the reminder to say, "I desire to be healthy and well rested"?

...and hopefully this will help.

I think it will. Maybe, but maybe not!

by New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast. Gosh is it entertaining and funny. It was one of The New York Time's top 10 books in 2014 so it pretty much speaks for itself.

It's 11:30pm and I am off to read it now...

September 13, 2015

100 Years of Fashion

I love this quick and snappy video of the history of fashion. Talk about walking down memory lane. It's interesting how globalization and cultural changes have effected fashion so much.

What a wild, weird and interesting world we live in.

From what I gather, the fashion trends for Fall 2015 go something like this:

  • Lots of texture. 
  • Knit tunics and dresses
  • Plaids- especially red plaids and tartans.
  • Gloves are big, as are tights and skinny scarves
  • Lots of layering
  • Cardigans, turtlenecks, chunky knit sweaters
  • Watches are really big- as well as watches combined with several bracelets
  • Soft trench coats 
  • The Victorian look
  • Colorful denims
  • Bold blanket ponchos and blanket scarves
  • Blouses with tie-scarf necklines
  • High-waisted flare jeans( not sure how I feel about this)
  • Tonal colors- wearing variations of the same color head-to-toe.
  • Layering-up a mix of deep autumn hues.
  • Brown tones
  • Over-the-knee boots.

And now it's time for me to wash all the wool sweaters, scarves and hats that I didn't wash at the end of last winter to get ready for sweater season :-(

Oh yes and one more thing...100 years of men's swimwear :-)

(and what is it about knees- does anyone find knees as sexy as I do?)

September 06, 2015

You v.You

Favorite spot
Colder evenings and shorter days have arrived here in New England and along with them, the beginning of one of my favorite months.

It always makes me a bit melancholy though however knowing that these pristine days will soon be followed by old man winter :-(

On my solo, 569 mile (to be exact), road trip back from dropping our youngest at college in Pittsburgh last week, I was saved from boredom (and the anxiety of being alone in the middle of nowheresville) by listening to NPR. I found one conversation on breaking bad habits especially interesting. You can download You v. You here but I'll post it at the bottom as well. Great to take along to listen to on a walk or in the car. Highly recommend for breaking the barrier of what stands between us and being successful at the things we might desire like quitting smoking, drinking or achieving a healthier, leaner, physique etc.

What I like about solo car trips is that they lend plenty of time to think. For instance, one of the things I pondered about was why it's such a hard transition for me every time one of my kids heads back out into the world (or when we lose another cat, as we did this week) even though I am really enjoying this time in our life. Sometimes I can stop myself and remember what I learned in a marriage workshop that Mr. Fix-It and I took years ago called Getting The Love You Want. Most current upsets are a button that gets pushed again from a childhood upset. For me, being the youngest child of 5 by many years, I use to feel abandoned over and over again when my siblings left for college or headed out into the real world, leaving me behind.


Also this week, a delicious recipe for Dilly Beans. Omg.

I hope you're having a nice long weekend, dear readers of mine.

August 30, 2015

Last F**kable Day

This week's post is a humorous video from comedian Amy Schumer with the best of the funny girls. If you haven't seen her movie, Trainwreck, it's very entertaining.

Thanks to Ronnie Citron-Fink at Econesting for posting.

More later! I traveled the long journey between Boston and Pittsburgh this week to drop our 2nd born at college and am getting my legs back beneath me.


August 22, 2015

Respecting Our Core

I enjoyed a conversation recently with author Sylvia Resnick whose 8th book, The Evolution of the Hollywood Heartthrob, was recently published. At the age of 88, she is currently under contract to write an erotic historical romance.
Keep on keeping on girl!

So what might a woman who has written about Hollywood since 1964, who loves Pinterest, tea and dancing have to share about aging?
Sylvia began by saying that women need to stop worrying about getting older and just enjoy life! Be yourself she says. Really be yourself. Look into your heart and ask, "Who am I really?" and be that person. Don't let others take you away from what you want to do.

Sylvia suggests that we reach inside of ourselves and respect what is in our core, as everyone is an individual.

She also suggests we do not watch the news before going to sleep as it tends to put negative images in our mind. I so agree. Instead she likes to watch reruns of her favorite comedy series before nodding off.
Lastly, Sylvia says to have fun and be VERY good to ourselves. She doesn't believe in denying herself at this stage. This includes enjoying some spa pampering and indulging in her favorite vice, an occasional hot fudge sundae. I told her I love them as well.

I wish you lived closer Sylvia. We could have a sundae and then some tea.

Thank you for stopping into Lines of Beauty, dear heart.


August 17, 2015

Human Being

I may have said before that I love following Humans of New York on Instagram each day. It's far more interesting and way more inspiring than the news- and what a wealth of insight it provides into what it is to be a human being and not just in New York. Right now he is traveling through Pakistan.

This is one of my all time favorite posts from a few years ago:

“If you could give one piece of advice to a large group of people, what would it be?”

“Try your best to deal with life without medicating yourself.”

“You mean drugs?”

“I mean drugs, food, shopping, money, whatever. I ain’t judging anybody, either. I was hooked on heroin for years. But now I’ve learned that every feeling will pass if you give it time. And if you learn to deal with your feelings, they’ll pass by faster each time. So don’t rush to cover them up by medicating them. You’ve got to deal with them.”

August 08, 2015

My Mama

It seems like it takes forever and a day sometimes to get to certain tasks. Especially technical ones for me. It's so much easier and more fun to just cut flowers from the garden :-) My longtime childhood friend, author, speaker and therapist Cynthia Weintraub Brennen visited a few months back and gratefully filmed a clip of my mom and me while she was here.

So here it finally is-  a conversation with my 93-year-old mama about health and life.

July 31, 2015

3 Tools to Unpoison

Goop, the brainchild of actress Gwyneth Paltrow, has posted one of the best articles that I've ever read on creating a healthy relationship and the 3 things that can poison it. After riding on the roller coaster of marriage with Mister Fix-It for almost 32 years, I am forever interested in finding better ways to communicate and create greater intimacy together.

There have been lulls however over the years when I haven't been interested of course.

Part of a long relationship's ebb and flow I guess.

Okay here goes:

(The great thing is that these pertain to all kinds of relationships- romantic unions, friendships and family connections etc)

Poison #1:

When we have negative thoughts about someone that we are in a relationship with it creates a poison. Even if we don't express these thoughts ( judgements) it disrupts the good energy and creates a field of negative energy because people can very easily read the body language that comes with negative thoughts.

The goal is to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Sometimes easier said than done omg.

Poison #2:

The second poison occurs when we fail to validate the person that we are in a relationship with. The basic human need isn't so much to be loved but rather to be acknowledged and seen in a positive light.

The goal is to be able to recognize and fulfill our partner's basic human needs. They describe it as giving a doggie treat to our partner.

Poison #3: 

The third poison is relationship over-dependency. Every time we ask too much of our partner, in terms of  meeting our needs/solving our problems, we ask too much of the relationship.

The goal is to have a life outside of our relationship. When we do, we find fresh energy and come back to the relationship with something new to enrich it.

Numerous times when I've felt bored in our marriage I've realized that I'm actually just bored with MYSELF and as soon as I go out and find personal enrichment, it magically enriches us.

It's crazy how well it works.

The author says this about his wife's grandparents:

"When they looked at one another, you could see in their eyes, that they put their bond with each other above their own selfish interests. Just take a moment right now and imagine how great it would be to be in a relationship that had that kind of all-for-one and one-for-all spirit."

Love this.

July 26, 2015


There is an interesting article in a recent Time Magazine called "Nip. Tuck. Or Else: Why You'll Be Getting Cosmetic Procedures Even If You May Not Really Want To"  that contends that women are going to eventually have cosmetic procedures done for the same reason they wear makeup-

because every other woman does.

Not because we hate ourselves, fear aging or are vain, the article explains.


But this won't be me.

Too much weirdness.

I fear that if I had one injection of botox or restylane that I'd never leave the mirror again :-).

My life plan is to go au naturel

from here-

to the very end.

July 18, 2015

On Being

How often do you ask someone how they are and the first sentence or two that comes out of their mouth is "I am so busy."

Sound familiar?

This is frequently me unfortunately. It's something that I am working on and I think the first step is leaving my phone turned off.

Omid Safi has written a good article in which he explains that in many Muslim cultures it is asked, "How is your haal?" He explains that, "Haal is the transient state of one’s heart. In reality, we ask, “How is your heart doing at this very moment, at this breath?” When I ask, “How are you?” that is really what I want to know."

Perhaps we are a culture that is getting so busy with beeping iphones, information overload and everyone trying to keep up with everyone else that we don't even know the answer to this question.

Or we fear knowing.

Perhaps people have the need to brag about how busy they are. Perhaps it's the 21st century form of "keeping up with the Jones".

I like to hear about people's haal because it is usually honest and of substance.

Unless they are perpetual complainers or have verbal diarrhea, of course.

As Omid says, "Tell me something about your heart and awaken my heart."

I think amidst my "to-do list" this is what I am yearning for the very most. Simply connecting with people on a deeper level.

It's okay

to be happy

with a calm life.

July 11, 2015

Perfect Age

 If you haven't yet seen 69-year-old actress Helen Mirren's L'Oreal commercial it's really quite good in celebrating an aging face, instead of trying to erase it. I've always loved Helen because she is so down-to -earth and I praise L'Oreal for supporting what women really look like as we grow older.

Thank you for showing that wrinkles and aging hands ARE beautiful.

Now for some of Helen's beauty tips ( how I love beauty tips):

  •  "I wear makeup every day. I love putting it on, and I get really into it: a little bit of this here, a little bit of that there… But then I stand back and look in the mirror and it's awful! So I take it all off because I've gotten too anal about it. It's absolutely true that as you get older, you have to wear less and less makeup." 

  • "My biggest beauty advice is just to make sure you clean your skin really well and don't smoke. I also have to have my eight hours of sleep a night."  

  • "Be bold! Be bold with your cut, really look what young people are doing and copy them- don't copy what old people are doing." 

  • " I'm not obsessive when it comes to looking after my skin. I have always used moisturizer at night and in the morning- it makes me feel better and to me that's what I want from it. It doesn't have to make me look ten years younger: it's all about how it makes me feel better every day." 

  • "Everybody has moments of massive insecurity and I think anything that makes you feel more confident and more secure in yourself is a great thing. It's tough for a lot of women with busy schedules or limited resources: they are incredibly busy and have difficult lives. To stop for a few seconds to say: "You know what, I can sit down, have a breather, a cup of tea or a bath and think "Yes, I'm worth it, my life is worth it" is so important." 
  • For more on Helen- click here.

    June 27, 2015

    Something Wonderful Always Happens

    Nebo Lodge, North Haven Island
    After too many weekends away I am home, guarding my alone time- like a H A W K.

    I'm finally getting to all the little things around the house that have been calling my name- like the pepper and cucumber plants that hadn't yet made their way into their summer home in the garden.

    Uninterrupted time.

    So B L I S S F U L, I can't even explain.

    It doesn't take much to make me happy 
    and I am so grateful for this.

    This morning, as I was out for a run,  I ran past a very very old woman who, very very very slowly, was making her way down the sidewalk in the sun, without a cane. She smiled at me as I ran past. Her radiant eyes, silver hair and periwinkle sweater, breathing me in.

    I ran for another block and thought, "I have to tell her how beautiful she is."

    So I turned around and went back.

    She replied, "Oh thank you, Oh oh thank you."
    Nebo Lodge, North Haven Island

    I touched her shoulder and went on my way but I so wanted to return and say:

    "Can we have tea? Can you tell me about your life and how it is that you are so old, and so frail, but are still out for a walk taking the smallest baby steps I've ever seen?"

    She reminded me of the 93-year-old woman on Instagram this week who explained as her photo was being taken, "If you force yourself to go outside, something wonderful always happens."

    New life motto.

    Perhaps she is what made me stop.

    June 19, 2015

    Turning the Boat Around

    I’ve wanted to share a story for a while about Denise Donnarumma and her journey back to health.

    Denise is 55 and we were colleagues together for ten years at Susan Bristol Inc, a traditional sportswear company in Boston.

    As Denise explains, her petite frame weighed about 103 pounds in high school but over the years she became more sedentary and ballooned up to 186 lbs. with her love of fast food, carbs and sugar. As I once was, Denise was also an emotional eater.

    As her story goes, she went to Weight Watchers where she would lose weight, feel good, go back to her old eating habits, gain the weight back and more, return to Weight Watchers and repeat the process.

    Growing up relatively thin, she had now become the heaviest of her four siblings. Denise carried her extra weight mostly in her hips and felt uncomfortable in her own skin. She had difficulty purchasing well- fitting clothing, traveling on airplanes and enjoying sporting events because of her discomfort in the seats.

    Eventually, she was diagnosed with high cholesterol and had to go on medication. Denise’s exercise efforts had not been enough to keep her at a healthy weight. Bad habits coupled with watching both her parents suffer from artery disease and her dad dying at age 75, from poor self-care, encouraged her to turn her boat around.

    As she says, “I wanted to take control of my health after watching my parents not live a good quality of life in their retirement years because they didn’t follow proper diet and activity.” Her parents suffered with chronic health issues and frequent hospital stays. Denise wanted to enjoy her retirement years.

    So in January 2011, she joined Core Cardio Fitness in Malden, Massachusetts. She met with a fitness coach who reviewed her fitness goals. Denise discussed her activities and eating habits. She was provided with a nutritional plan along with a weekly exercise routine to follow until she reached her goal to lose 56 lbs. Her workouts included indoor cycling, TRX (total body resistance exercise), kickboxing, Zumba, and yoga. She began to lose the weight steadily and at a healthy rate. Then Denise added running to her workout routine and completed her first 5K road race at 150 lbs. Within 9 months Denise reached her goal weight of 130 lbs., became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and continued to compete in 5K and 10K road races finishing in the top 3 of her 50+ age group. By 2013 she was able to run and complete two half-marathons.

    I was interested however to learn how her life has changed in other ways as well.

    For starters, Denise said she feels better in her fifties than she ever did in her thirties. She has amazing strength and energy. She also loves the social camaraderie at Core Cardio Fitness that has helped her become a health and fitness enthusiast. Within a year of her success, Denise has become a qualified TRX instructor there. She is an inspiration to so many people as she is able to share her personal success story.

    The other great news is that she is off her meds!

    Thanks Denise for sharing your story. You are such an inspiration and I have loved watching your transformation back to good health.

    June 14, 2015


    Tent Cabin, Omega Institute
    Sun kissed shoulders.

    Radiant skies.

    Sugar snap peas.

    The warmer weather feels like a blanket of happiness.

    Mister Fix-It and I returned to Omega Institute last weekend to revisit Tantra Intimacy.

    It had been two years since our first course and as with its siblings, meditation and yoga, Tantra can slither away without discipline in a partnership.

    Plus I wanted to address my fear of the energy found from waking up my kundalini.

    Which I did.

    I think.

    Not 100% sure about this actually.

    Anyway, I once again highly recommend Tantra to expand intimacy, spice-up a relationship and garner a natural body high. 

    Just the breathing technique alone, without a partner, is a great sleep-aid.

    And now I bring you Carly.

    Because I can't get this song out of my mind.

    And because-

    These are the good old days.

    June 04, 2015

    To Love & Be Loved

    Alex is a very creative guy and he clearly loves his mom Eva.

    He has been wanting to find her a boyfriend so he took it upon himself to create this video for her in hope of finding her one.

    Luckily for Eva he showed it to her before he posted it.

    As Alex says, "Deep inside, we all want pretty much the same thing- to love and be loved."

    But oh my god....can you imagine the task of having to sort through all the suitors who must be writing hoping to meet her?

    The romantic in me can't wait to hear how this all turns out...

    May 31, 2015


    Through crystal clear stillness
    Nothing matters 
    but breath and light
    Limbs slice through atoms of hydrogen and oxygen
    Weightless, impression-less
    I am at home here. 
    Alone here
    I remain 
    In my oasis of flight