September 26, 2020
September 19, 2020
Most of us are probably familiar with the Reminders App on an Iphone.
This little app has revolutionized my life. Because of it, gone are the post-it notes on my mirror, doors and car dash board- as well as those scribbled in ink on the back of my hand.
August 28, 2020
In Covid, many more people have naturally been struggling in one degree or another with depression. It's a crazy ass world we are all walking in. I was telling a friend lately that we all just need to keep walking each other through the mess.
Literally and figuratively.
I believe that most of us are searching for a grounding cord in a very big way.
The good news is that our bodies are a reservoir of chemical resources that we can tap into at any time to feel better and we sometimes forget about this. We're all natural chemistry sets that don’t cost even a dime.
However, on the other side of the coin, is that it is often helpful to just allow ourselves to feel blue. Putting our arms around the darkness helps us to move through it, rather than trying to push it away. A mental health day on the couch isn't a bad thing.
Also this week, a short Covid article that helped me to better understand why I like to talk to people, even strangers and people I barely know.:
Have a good weekend my friends.
August 22, 2020
As we all move along in a new life, evolving with covid, and we traverse the hills and valleys where it takes us, I’m grateful that some of the coping skills that I harnessed in the few hard years prior to the pandemic, continue to nurture me.
The virus won’t last forever but it’s not going to go away until everyone starts taking it seriously.
Someday, it will be in our rear view mirror and I’m very curious what we will all then see in front of us.
Given the current political situation, there are so many rabbit holes I could go into discussing right now, but this post is intended to be a relief from our fucked-up crazy political climate. The most positive thing I can say about politics is that hopefully we are on the brink of a great awakening. I pray.
July 31, 2020
July 27, 2020
I've been feeling a little out of sorts lately with not enough down time or time to be creative. Feeling like I am on a bit of a treadmill and putting out too many little fires, even in Covid.
I imagine you might know what I mean.
So I stopped myself last night and pondered what I'm yearning for besides more downtime and creativity and it prompted me to make a list that I have never made before or have even thought to make.
I thought I could make a list of things that make me happy. Like dancing, going to the beach, holding babies, human connection, touch, reading a good book...knitting...chocolate...swimming. Blah blah blah. That's easy to do. But what I was trying to uncover was a list of experiences that I've had throughout my lifetime that were truly rich and made me feel alive.
That had real substance.
Experiences that made me feel like I am in love but don't necessarily have anything to do with another person.
This took some time. It prompted me to slow down and remember moments that have been golden.
Not storybook golden, or anyone else golden, but just me golden.
It turned out that many of the things that showed up on my list were experiences that involved discomfort in terms of doing something that I was afraid to do. Experiences that made me feel vulnerable but I was able to get to the other side of and stretch beyond my comfort zone.
Some of the other things on the list I would put in the "self-help" category. Times when I have stumbled and needed guidance. Sometimes, a boat load of guidance.
Interestingly, some very sad times are also on the list. Like losing my parents, celebrating their lives and cleaning out/selling my childhood home.
The other interesting thing is that only one of the vacations that I have ever taken is on the list.
This was a big ah-ha.
Lines of Beauty is also of course on the list.
So thank you for continuing to stop in and read what is on my sometimes wacko little mind :-)
June 30, 2020
June 25, 2020
make much out of little,
embrace the warmth of our ordinary days.
Life unfolds as a mystery,
an enterprise who’s outcome cannot be foretold.
We do not get what we expect.
We stumble on cracks, are faced with imperfection.
Bonds are tested and tightened.
And our landscapes shift, in the sunshine and in shade.
There is light.
Look for it.
Look for it shining over your shoulder, on the past.
It was light where you went once.
It is light where you are now,
It will be light where you will go again.
~ A favorite quote from Call the Midwife
May 30, 2020
The week before covid hit, I passed my oral exams, after a year+ certification process with Coaches Training Institute, to be a health and wellness coach.
I've been working on my coaching website since then and it is finally up and running (almost). I'm still working on a Powerful Quotes page that I thought of to do. With Instagram and Pinterest in our lives especially, there are so many good quotes to choose from it's unbelievable.
CLICK HERE if you would like to see it!
May 09, 2020
Happy Mama's Day and love to everyone.
Whether you are a mother to your own, or a mother figure to someone in your life, or even a mama to a beloved animal, we all certainly know the role of being a mother in some way.
I was thinking how since the new world of covid has arrived that many of us are experiencing mothering in new ways. Especially those who are caring for ones that are sick or in need of help or those giving extra love to people on the front-line in the medical world, so that they can get up everyday and do their heroic jobs in an unprecedented way, in this unprecedented time.
A shoutout of gratitude to all the helpers big and small!
Enjoy the beautiful video above on this day.
April 29, 2020
April 11, 2020
529 POSTS later, I still get excited about having this online notebook to solidify my thoughts, on not just the process of aging, but more importantly, on life itself.
There have been some stretches however, when going through challenging times, that I have considered ending Lines of Beauty. I am so very grateful though that I didn't.
The blog has oddly become a dear friend to me.
Early on, I was hyper-focused on how many weekly hits the blog was getting but then decided that I needed to simply write, just for myself, and that anyone who happened to land here and found resonance with what I was sharing, was icing on the cake.
Thus for many years now, I rarely ever look at the blog's hits and stats.
However, today I looked back to MY VERY FIRST POST and was shocked to find that it has been viewed 28,094 times.
Something about this makes me feel good.
What is it that the shrinks say?
That more than needing to be loved, we just desire to be seen and acknowledged...
So if you are reading this, thank you.
I hope you all are doing okay out there.
For myself, I continue to begin each day, during this time of covid-19, as I have the last three difficult years, with two questions:
How can I take care of myself today?
What needs to be done?
Maybe ya'all are doing something similar?
In celebration of Lines of Beauty, I leave you with 10 THINGS FOR KEEPING A SOLID CENTER, as well as a video, which I especially love the humor of, because the only thing my mom ever complained about her aging body was her "crepey neck."
Thank you so much mama for not being a neurotic aging mother...
Happy Covid Easter and Passover 😯
Sending love out to all of you,
March 31, 2020
March 28, 2020
|Photo by Caroline J. Fernandes|
I've been thinking about writing this post the last few weeks, as my thoughts keep fermenting, as life continues to morph, into the unknown.
For now, I'd like to set aside the devastating health tragedies and sorrows, the crippling financial impact and Mister Agent Orange.
Just for a minute,
in this unprecedented time, as we try and move forward, without any answers or frame of reference for a pandemic.
Suddenly it feels as if the world is shrinking, this virus being the greatest unifier and equalizer ever. We are all in a shake down, living life upside-down, together.
But yet apart.
I love that we are more dependent on each other than we have ever been. As moral support, dropping food off at doorsteps, saving each other from the abyss of boredom. Not to mention the incredible sacrifices those on the front lines in the medical world are coming forth with.
Life is changing every day, asking all of us to do less, give more and live very differently.
Life is asking us to rethink and I find such beauty in this.
A good friend of mine shared, "We always want the situation to change, not realizing we were placed in it, so that we may change."
What a disorienting situation this is but there is so much that is being illuminated. So much that we are facing as individuals and as a collective, as we face this global crisis.
To evolve perhaps into a new way of being together?
What if we became curious with this alone time and had no mission other than to experience being? What might we find in the quietness, not just in the night, but now in our days?
What if a true purpose is found in this new space?
I believe this pause is filled with opportunity. Not the opportunity to get the taxes done or finish a book or master something, but the opportunity to get comfortable in our uncomfortableness. The opportunity to be without a path forward, for the first time in our lives.
All over the world people are slowing way down and reflecting.
To perhaps what truly matters.
I've been lying on my bed and just staring up at the ceiling some mornings. I actually became so still the other morning that I saw one of the lilies in a vase next to my bed, spring open. This I had never seen before, except in time-lapse photography.
So what does it all mean?
I don't know.
All I know is that there is some crazy good things going on in between all the heartache, personal struggles and anxiety.
Good things that we haven't been able to see and live nearly as well, until now.
People singing & playing instruments for each other across alley ways, skies less filled with gas fumes, wildlife benefiting, strangers giving their phone numbers to the elderly, so that they may have someone to call in need and the burst of art and creativity that is exploding everywhere.
All over the world people are looking at their neighbors and the people they pass on the street, in a new way.
In a new light.
Perhaps this is all as it is suppose to be.
Sending love your way,
February 29, 2020
February 22, 2020
This brief Ted Talk by BJ FOGG, who wrote Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything, is very good.
Doing two push-ups after every time we pee? What a novel idea :-)
January 25, 2020
|1969 with our foreign exchange student from the Netherlands|
|My baptism ( check out my mom's hat)|
January 19, 2020
|Mount Washington's tippy-top|
Of course I had thought of the possibility myself, but quickly slammed the door on the likelihood of it happening, as if what lived on the other side of the door was the biggest boogie monster of them all.
Me, untethered to anyone other than my dear family & friends.
Dangling in the abyss, without the grounding cord of a long, long marriage. Finding my way through murky waters, a lone traveler, on a densely fog-filled road.
Those were the sort of visions I'd have in the middle of the night early on.
"But fears are just stories we tell ourselves,” I’d say to myself.
"Do what you're afraid to do," I'd say in the darkness of the night.
So many people make their way alone in life, at least for awhile.
Could I be one of them?
Because for me there finally came a fork in the road, in the marriage that I was trying to save.
At the fork, there was a new road that I had begun to pave for myself and I finally decided to take it.
Working to save my marriage felt like a bolder that I was trying to push up hill for way too long. So I stepped aside the bolder and allowed it to roll effortlessly past me.
We know a decision is right when every cell in our body applauds us in relief. This is how I felt when I let the bolder go.
The past 3 years gave me time to grow closer to my soul and what I need and don't need to carry on.
My soul is my partner right now, and it feels so right and so good.
And the new road I'm on,
is exactly where I should be. 💗
December 31, 2019
In July my whole-life coach ELIZABETH ELLIS sent me the above quote. I can't tell you how timely it was for me then and still is for me now.
Another great quote came to me in November, when I had a session with the fabulous astrologer ARIFA BOEHLER. She said something to me that I think we can all relate to and that was so profound that I have set it as a daily reminder in my phone:
I no longer abandon myself for the needs of others.
Here's wishing you all a happier new decade.
With love and peace,
December 14, 2019
November 30, 2019
My wonderful whole-life coach, ELIZABETH ELLIS, told me recently that I have a story to tell.
She is right, I do.
I just haven't yet been able to write it.
This is partly because I have been busy with coaching school etc but also because I am still putting my thoughts together in just how to share it.
In one regard, it is a simple story actually. I could write it in one sentence. I could just say-
After 36 years, I have decided to conclude my marriage.
But saying this makes it feel like it landed like a thud and it was not a thud.
It has been a 3+ year process of letting the rocks tumble and allowing the pebbles to settle, whilst I found my way through to clarity, of what truly resonates for me, in order to make a decision.
It has actually been a celebration of sorts. A huge relief in many ways after years of being in a sometimes torturous quandary. But also a deep sadness of pulling apart my family, at least temporarily, as we all redefine what our family is.
A few days ago, as we gathered for Thanksgiving, I could see that the redefining and the healing has begun. As a mother and as a friend, I am beyond grateful for this, as we all continue to mourn how life has always been.
Recently someone explained to me that when one piece of steel is welded to another piece, the weld is stronger than the steel itself. This may seem a crazy perspective to see a divorce through but maybe there is an analogy here in terms of the new family strength that I think is forthcoming, for all of us.
Or maybe it's just that my dad was a metallurgical engineer and had a metal fabricating company that involved a lot of welding, that something rang true in this for me, from him.
But I also feel sure in my heart now that many things are meant to fall apart and that this new bumpy road that we are all on is a better path than the bumpier one we've been on.
I've known for awhile that I would be the one that would need to steer our family down this new road.
For my children especially, because there is nothing worse than being at the effect of your parent's quandary.
I feel bad that it took me so long to do it for us, but it was important that I turned over the last stone and I needed time in order to do this. There was no rushing it for me.
Times heals all, it's true.
More pieces of this story to come I imagine, when the moment feels right.
in love & light,