Keeping the Mojo Going

I am about to leave to meet-up with my two best friends from high school for our annual reunion- this year it's in South Carolina. A much needed vacation! I am a bit anxious to be arriving along with a tropical storm down there, but hopefully everything will be okay.

Have you heard that saying, "It's not about how young you look, it's about how good you look."?

It's so perfect and 100 year old Ruth, in the above clip, tells her story about how she manages to grow old happily.

I found the video on Advanced Style, which is one of my favorite websites about style and growing older (started by Ari Cohen who is in his 20's). Inspired by his late grandmother, who was his best friend, he roams the streets of New York looking for the most stylish and creative older folks.

Have a nice week everyone.
XO,

Louise

Aging with Pizzazz

Actress Mimi Weddell died a few years ago at the age of 94, but not until she left behind quite a legacy. I love characters like her. Mimi was known for her free thinking, elegant style, and for not trying to conceal her wrinkles, or signs of aging.

She was also known for her collection of 150 hats.

Hats Off, a feature length documentary profiling the beauty and her eccentricities, was completed when she was 93.

At the age of 90, Ms. Weddell was named one of the "50 Most Beautiful People in New York" by New York Magazine.

Below is an entertaining trailer of Hats Off.

Aging Gracefully with Inspiration

Ellen's mum

Ellen B. Brown is this week's beauty. She has written about how her mom's death inspired her to have a change in career at mid-life.

"My mum passed away 3 years ago from brain cancer. She was given the diagnoses on January 2nd and died exactly a month later. Hard as it was to see her die so quickly, I am eternally grateful that her ordeal was short. My mum was such vital, active and loving person. Her beauty radiated from within. She tried to wear make-up (I even gave her gift certificate to learn) but she was so natural that for me it did not matter. She touched so many people lives, the young and the old, because she was such a giving person. On the day of her memorial service close to a thousand people came. I was so overwhelmed by those who came as it showed she had a huge impact on people. I struggle daily on her not being here in the physical presence, but I know spiritually she is always with me; she was my best friend, my cheerleader, my confidante, and my mum.

I was born with cerebral palsy, and was not expected to live, as I had a number of complications at birth. We did not really get close until I was in my 30s and I am so grateful that we patched our differences and became were able to do this. My mum was there for all 5 of us children; she loved us unconditionally and supported us all through our ups and downs. When I run into friends they always comment to me how much they miss her. I feel touched when people tell me this, and of course, I cry.

Walking in Ireland

I cry because it means so much to me and that she touched so many people's lives. And when I cry it makes me realize what is truly important...to live life to its fullest. I recently had to close my business after 25 years due to the economic situation in my Bermuda and now having to change careers at 55! So I have decided to go back to graduate school to get my masters in counseling/spiritual studies and bereavement counseling. I know she is guiding me on this path.

 My mum used to sing beautifully but lost her ability to sing later in life. When she could not play tennis anymore, she found passion in other things, such as love of gardening and roses. My mum was fearful of dying, although we never talked about it. She would talk about friends who passed on and I sensed her fear and sadness. Even when she was in the transition of passing on no-one discussed the enviable - her death. So I chosen now to turn my life to becoming more meaningful based after seeing what my mum went through- and to give credence to my experience to be a positive one for others. My mum's passing was a pivotal point in my life. She taught me the importance of living and being passionate about life."

Thank you Ellen for sharing this story about your wonderful mom.

Happy Mother's Day

This wonderful letter and photo has been all over the internet and for the life of me I can't find the author and photographer to give them credit. If someone knows who wrote it please let me know. It found it's way to me from the wonderful photographer Robyn Ivy and is just so timely, because as many of you know, my dear, dear 90 year old mother is now my neighbor.

I look forward to sharing it with her on Sunday.

Happy Mother's Day to you all, especially to you mama.

Mother's Day 2011

               A  Letter from a Mother to a Daughter

"My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "

Where Lines Lay

Jean Haner has written a very interesting book that has received good reviews. What caught my attention about Jean is that she, like me, thinks that lines on a woman's face make her more beautiful. She explains that "we react to faces subconsciously, and wrinkles are like a blueprint that reflects our beauty on the inside."

"That's more powerful than any antiaging cream," she says.

Haner explains that where lines appear on the face most prominently says a lot about a person. For instance, in Chinese face reading crow's feet are known as "joy lines". People with these lines are usually warm, affectionate, and have an open heart. Others are drawn to those with joy lines because they appear friendly.

Smile lines, the parenthesis-like wrinkles on the sides of the mouth, are the most positive lines that people can develop because they show confidence and contentment in life.

Vertical wrinkles on the cheeks signify graciousness and those who wrinkle here tend to be the ideal hostess. Constant care for others creates muscle tension in the jaw and lower cheeks which forms these lines. It's important for those with these lines to take more time for themselves.

Horizontal forehead wrinkles show wisdom. People who have more of these lines are usually wonderful mentors and inspire trust and confidence in others.

Lastly, vertical lines between the eyebrows show intelligence. They are called "guidance lines" and reveal a person who is smart and focused. If these lines appear suddenly it can mean that the person is frustrated because they have veered off course in life- also known as "knitting of the brow."

Interesting!

Here are some other elements of the face that can also be very revealing:

-Strong jawlines = strong convictions
-Double chin = less judgmental of others
-Ears that pull away from the head = inclination to pull way from family
-Ears that are close to the head = inclination to stick to family
-Cleft in chin = need for attention
-Rounded chin = warmth
-Rounded forehead = high creativity


Thank you to Maureen for letting me know about Jean Haner.

Window To The Soul

How is it that I have found my favorite time in life but I am so busy that I don't know where to begin first some mornings?

The changing of the tides-

-of our youngest getting ready to set sail, and my mother suddenly becoming my neighbor.

-of setting one small business aside to scarily launch another.

Remember those circular playground rides that we used to play on when we were small at the park? We'd hold on to them and run and run along next to them -until they got going so fast that when we finally jumped on board we'd hold on for dear life, and have quite a ride, but nearly got spun off of them altogether?

That's me these days. Spinning. Spinning like a top suddenly, as I try to make sense of all the options and duties before me. It's an exciting time, but also an overwhelming time. I know that exercise is even more important right now, so that I can continue to keep my center.

I just don't want to spin off my axis.

It's like there's a party going on and I want to shut the door and have a minute to myself.

And to top it off-

like so many women probably at mid-life, I am craving more intimacy.

I just want to wrap myself up in a warm cocoon,

and soak in the rising sun,

and slow down,

And be one.


Photo by Janelle West
Redlands, CA

Second Act

I've been busy this week settling my 90 year old mom into her new life at a retirement community just 3 miles from my house. It is a huge change for her to cast away not only her home of 41 years, but also all her friends. Leaving her in her new apartment the first night I kind of felt like I did when I dropped my kids at kindergarten and college for the first time. Are they going to be okay? Will they be lonely? Will they connect with someone that they like? Pleeeease?

I have a lump in my throat as I write this- as my mom is very much still in the process of making her way in her new life here and will for several months to come no doubt. Like going off to college, everything is so new around her. Plus, she is still recuperating from getting knocked over just a month ago and gumptioning up the immense energy that it takes to move and reorganize one's life. The good news is that we are having fun together styling her new digs with all her treasures. I can see that it is very freeing to take only our very favorite possessions with us and leave all the other riff-raft in life behind.

It makes me want to do it.

Anyway, many thanks to Aldra at Consciously Frugal for alerting me to this great Yahoo award winning video series called Second Act, which highlights women and men over the age of 50 who have reinvented themselves. The videos are all so good I didn't know which one to pick, but I ended up choosing this one because what Cindy Joseph has to say so closely supports my intention here on Lines of Beauty.

Another great clip is of 85 year old Louise Hay, spiritual writer, lecturer, and publisher of Hay House (and a high school dropout). She is an amazing women.

She says that how we start our day, is how we are going to live our day, and how we live our day, is the way we live our life.

A cancer survivor, she also shares that "Sometimes the things we think of as the biggest tragedies, turn out to be the best things that could possibly happen."

Have a good week everyone.

XOXO,
Louise

Aging Gracefully with Wellness

This week's beauty is Carol Mossa who is 57 years old. Carol participated in The Revelation Project, which I am also a part of.

Carol is the director of  The Well Healing Arts Center in Rhode Island and has this to share about growing older:

"A few Mondays ago, I was having dinner with a group of eight women friends. We have been meeting weekly like this for nearly a year.  My point in mentioning the frequency and duration of our get-togethers is to indicate that these are women who know me well. These friends have heard me share intimate details about my life, struggles, and triumphs as a mother, daughter, ex-wife, friend, and business woman. This particular night, we were discussing a recent car accident that had claimed the lives of several local young people.  We began speculating about the cause of the crash, and inevitably, the conversation turned to underage drinking, texting, and the inherent dangers in both of those practices. While I no longer drink alcohol, I am occasionally guilty of texting while driving.

I was willing to rat myself out for the meaningful dialogue that I was sure would follow, so I spoke up, "I'm 57 years old.  I get it; I know better, but I am guilty of texting while driving."

Voices around the table erupted! My friends were astonished. However, they were not dismayed over my deadly habit. "You're 57 years old???" one longtime friend asked in disbelief. Another said, "Shut up! No, you're not. Seriously?" And still another, "Oh, my God---you don't look that old."

I took a moment to thank my friends, to graciously accept their resounding surprise and glee over the fact that I had somehow managed to cheat the aging calendar and appear more youthful. One friend actually said, "I wouldn't put you a day past 45."

So it got me thinking.....

What does 57 feel like?  What should it feel like?  Honestly, I wouldn't trade 45 for 57 anytime soon. At 45, though chronologically younger, I was aging fast. I was 15 years into a marriage that was destined to fail 5 years later.  I was about to enter a dark period of self-destruction and addiction that I thankfully survived thanks to the grace of God and those women (and others) present there that night. 

I feel, at 57, better emotionally, physically, and spiritually than I have in my entire life. I have healthy, loving relationships with my 3 children today.  I smile. I laugh. Loud. I have faith.  As the Director of The Well Healing Arts Center, I am privileged to offer women a safe place to heal their bodies, minds, and spirits.  I have a profound sense of purpose, and for that, I am grateful.

 If I don't text and drive, I have a good chance of making it to 58."


Thank you Carol for being this week's beauty and for your wonderful contribution.

Once There Was a Way

When I was growing up, my Dad was fond of The Beatle's song Golden Slumbers. I remember it making him pause and listen when it came on. He'd say things like "Gee, this sure is a beautiful song."

When I headed off to college, I bought Abby Road for him so that he could listen to Golden Slumbers when I was away.

This past weekend, for the first time in awhile,  I listened to Golden Slumbers on the long drive back from my mom's house. It suddenly had new meaning for me.

"Once there was a way,
To get back homeward.

Once there was a way
To get back home.

Sleep, pretty darling,
Do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby"



My folks bought their house on the river, where my mom still lives, when I was ten. My mom was my age then, and my four older siblings had gone off to college, or off into the world. I was the only one to grow up there.

My parents loved the house, as did I, but it took years for me to truly see its beauty.

Now 41 years have passed and it's time to move my mom to the Boston area. She was born here, and will now live just 4 miles from my house.

This is the good news.

The bad news is that we all have to say good-bye to an amazing home. For me, it's not just where I grew up and where we sailed, it's where I got married, and where our kids, as babies, crawled around in the grass.

It's where our families came together, where my folks grew older, and where, almost eleven years ago, we tossed my dad's ashes off the end of the dock to rest.

The river house, I see now, was the way for us "to get back homeward" and my parents, perhaps especially my dad, knew this.

The sad thing is that very soon, just like the song, there will no longer be a way to get back home.

The blessing is that this house on the Niagara has almost always been in my life. 

Now I just need to make peace with letting it go. 

Aging Gracefully in Song

This week's beauty is Dr. Lynn Schriner who is 57 years old. In college she toured with the rock band Dame around Europe and afterward was critically injured by a pesticide poisoning in a city park. She has since struggled with health problems stemming from the incident, which inspired her to become a naturopathic doctor and help people with their own health challenges.

In 2001 Lynn started the Music for Orphans Project in the Sudan. They have now funded the drilling of 8 water wells and fed over 4000 kids. 

Lynn is a cancer survivor and has survived 7 car accidents, a lightning strike, a brown recluse spider bite and a brutal rape in 1988. Married for 16 years she lives on Trolley Farm in Colorado where she has a spa. She is also the author of the book Bent, Not Broken and recently released a music CD titled Amazed.

I am happy to share Lynn's thoughts with you on growing older:

"When I was young, I heard whistles on the street, I was outwardly beautiful and inwardly fragile. Now that I am older I hear music in my soul, I am outwardly a smile and inwardly a song.

There is nothing but lines on this face called "Ma'm" But the lines go up. The laughter caused the crinkles in the corners of my eyes, There have been tears, enough to have a beach in heaven, but there is joy in the marrow of my soul.

Yes, I am older but I have out lived the cancer, and the loss of my baby, and the betrayal, and the heartache, and still I will see the beauty of the moon.

I will understand the undertow and swim strong against the currents but I will let the current take me out to sea without fear if I chose to. I will keep my hand open and my fists unclenched, because I have learned that gifts come. I will keep my peace rather than speak words better left unspoken because I have learned that I do not have every answer for the universe and I am quite small under the skies of heaven and that is okay.

I will not be ashamed of my red rimmed eyes because they have seen life and are still looking for the grace. I will be a voice for the weak, and a thorn in the side of injustice, and I will not be afraid.

This is the joy of my lines. This is the joy of the lost power of youth. My strength in aging comes from the joy of giving. It will be my battle cry.

Thank you so much for being this week's beauty Lynn.

I love your song I'm Just a Girl."

It's Never too Late

Iris Apfel

I am about to head out on a solo trip to a friend's wedding in Rhinebeck, NY and then on to visit my mom, who is recuperating from a fall. A few weeks ago, my 87-year -old uncle was changing a light blub, and on his way off the step stool, unfortunately lost his balance and knocked my mom flat her back.

As my dad use to say "It's always something..."

It really *is* almost always something. That's the reality of life, I think.

Anyway, have you heard the news that 90-year-old fashion and design icon Iris Apfel has been chosen to be the inspiration for the new MAC make-up line? How cool is that?  I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I wrote about Iris when I first started Lines of Beauty. I love that they have picked her to be their model.

Iris urges all women to enjoy their age.

Yesssssssss!!!

She is following in the footsteps of a couple of other mature women- Ellen DeGeneres and Diane Keaton- who are the faces of Cover Girl and L'Oreal, respectively.

We ARE making progress!

You can see Iris Apfel's interview on The Today Show from last week here.

She is so very, very cool.

I also have to leave you with a bit of humor...my 18 and 20 year old daughters turned me onto this site called What Should We Call Me which is great for some quick laughs. Every day they post several two second videos, many of which crack me up.

Here are just a few:

When I'm looking for my phone.

When your boss isn't in the office.

When I have to do work but everything else seems so much more interesting.

Have a good weekend, my beauties.
XO Louise

Coming Around Again

I had a new thought this week about aging after hearing of a friend's struggle with it.

Something I've been trying to put my finger on.

It was an analogy actually.

I think when we hit age 40, and the signs of getting older start to settle in, it is similar in some ways to going through puberty- the lack of self-confidence it can bring, the awkwardness- the "what is HAPPENING to my body?"

The difference is that in puberty the body begins to sprout, but at mid-life it starts to crumble.

During both transitions in life we might feel a bit like we are slipping on ice- a bit ungrounded- unsure of where we are headed- if we are worthy -and questioning what life will bring us next.

The beauty of these transitions is that as the years carry on- we grow into our selves- we circle around to who we are in a more intimate way. We reach deeper into our essence.

We settle in.

We do it over and over again.

And grow beautiful with age.

Have a peek at the beautiful woman above. She is such a masterpiece. Life has worked its amazing patina on her, and she is sparkling still, and so full of vitality.

Is she worried about old she looks, I wonder?

I don't think so.

She is who I strive everyday to be.

Aging Gracefully with Her Paintbrush

This week's beauty is Marilyn Smith Rosenfeld. Marilyn is the mother of Liz Smith who was a recent Beauty of the Week here on Lines of Beauty. It is easy to see where Liz got her artistic talents from. Marilyn and Liz seem to be yet another example of the apple not falling far from the tree.

I am happy to bring you Marilyn's story:

"Old age caught me by surprise. I am 77, will be 78 in April, still do not feel old, but I have begun reading the newsletter from the Senior Center with more attention.

About 15 years ago, I was in the supermarket when an older gentleman called out in passing, "Wednesdays are Senior Citizen discount days, pass it on!"  I thought, "Why is he telling this to me?"

I have never dyed my hair, never had cosmetic surgery. I had planned to accept old age when it got here, but not worry about it.

Old age was a time way in the future.

Three years ago, my husband suggested we go to the Senior Center to join a French Conversation group. I said, "Surely we are not that old yet."

We did join the group, and met several remarkable people all over 70, some in their eighties.

We met Anne, who is 81 and dances the Tango every night until the early morning hours.

We met Walter Ford Carter who wrote No Greater Love, No greater Sacrifice, about his father's death as an American army surgeon in the Normandy Invasion during WWll.  He goes to France each summer to lead tours of the Normandy beaches.

We met Ilse, who, as a Jewish teenager exiled from Germany to France during WWll, barely escaped being deported by the Nazis, chronicled in Once They Had a Country, Two Teenage Refugees in the Second World War by her daughter Muriel Gillick.

I have always been an artist. Since 1984 I have been a watercolor painter. I keep a drawing journal and draw what I see wherever I happen to be.

My daughter Liz, the youngest of our 4 children, and the creator of Made In Lowell, had the delightful idea of scanning my drawings, printing them out, and making notecards which she sells online and also in her studio. My husband and I love to go to Open Studios at Western Avenue Studios the first Saturday of each month, visit with Liz, and be introduced as "My mom who does the drawings on the cards." So satisfying!

I am so lucky to be able to draw and paint something I can do as long as I can hold a pen and brush.

Our children bought us a computer seven years ago for our 50th wedding anniversary.

I love the computer. I write emails, look at stuff online, and find all sorts of information on Google. This has kept me feeling young more than anything else.

Over the years I have been friends with several older women who lived into their nineties. They were all vigorous, creative, intelligent and active. I loved, admired and respected them, and have been inspired by them to keep drawing and painting, keep learning, keep moving, keep going. "

Marilyn thank you for being this week's beauty. As I told Liz I love your story and I'm always so happy to feature women with more experience with growing older :-)

Come Away with Me

I thought with winter finally arriving here in Boston it might be nice to cyber-escape to Maderia, Portugal, one of my favorite places to visit.


My in-laws are from Madeira, which is an island 310 miles off the coast of Morocco.

Madeira is known for its rugged volcanic peaks, beautiful tropical coastline, and a climate that is almost always spring-like.

Maderians use terraces to grow crops because the island is so mountainous. 

The terraces and seascapes create breathtaking views around every bend.

Madeira is known for its gorgeous flowers, fresh tropical fruit and vegetables, its bountiful fish, and  espetada which are beef kabobs...they could easily be a "gateway meat" for vegetarians- they are that good.


The island is also known for its very famous Madeira wine. 

Wine is served every day, not just for dinner, but also for lunch.

Perhaps this is why afternoon siestas are so popular.

Hiking and swimming are a big attraction, and so are gondola rides- as well as these hair-raising toboggan trips thru the streets of Funchal, the central city.

One of my favorite things about Madeira is the music and dancing, which are frequently ballads about love.

These are amazing sea caves used by the local fishermen.

You can click on the photo for a better view. It makes a fabulous screensaver.

Photo by Geoff Summa.
February 2012

It's a long journey to get to Maderia.

But, it is so worth the trip.


"A vida e boa" in Maderia.

          (life is good)

10 Easy Ways to Age Gracefully Today

If you can't change it, move on.Thou shall not stew.

Stop getting stuck in your story about woulda. coulda. shoulda. and get on with doing what you love to do.

Surround yourself with loving, low-maintenance people who increase your vitality instead of rob it.

Remember that aging is part of the wondrous cycle of life. It is normal and it is what is suppose to happen, just like getting our baby teeth.

Take care of that pesky task that has been hanging over your head for way too long. It won't take nearly as long as you think it will.

Have an orgasm.

Did I just say that?

Stop worrying about what other people think. It's your life.

Don’t forget that human's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. Acknowledge someone.

Get over your fear. Fear is normal, so embrace it and then you'll get past it.

Take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. Be your own best friend. It is the foundation for a good long life.



Photo by Jef Bettens, Limburg, Belgium

And So It Comes

My mama turned ninety recently. It's amazing to me that she is this old. I would be surprised if I didn't know her. Sometimes I still think of her as I did when I was six and she was just forty-five. Always the calm provider for her large flock. Ironing in the afternoon sunlight as I came through the door from grammar school, looking for an afternoon snack. Homemaker extraordinaire.


Toasting her on her birthday.

She is standing strong still. Almost always optimistic, and welcoming, and steady. So level headed and reassuring. With a warmth that to me is unexplainable. Somehow when I was young I made a connection between her and Pillsbury pop and fresh dough. You might remember the tube that you tapped on the edge of the counter and out popped ten little sweet smelling rolls, ready for the warm oven.

Strange, I know!

Mom and her friend at the party.

Since my Dad died, almost eleven years ago, she has marched on. Bringing us all forward. The threads of his life interwoven in her life still, and ours. Sometimes I feel that she is all that we have left of him.

And I know that from here, that if she is fortunate, she will grow older and older. Perhaps she will reflect and re-experience the beauty of her life as her days grow slower. I say this because I have experienced it with someone else before.

And luckily for me, I will be her gate keeper. I will be holding her hand.

I will be her protector now, and her provider, seeing her through to the end.

Aging Gracefully with Sustainability

Jane at her 60th birthday party

This week's beauty is Jane Weeks who is 63 years old. Jane is an environmentalist and lives in Gore's Landing, Ontario. She is the owner of a store called Smallbones, where she sells her hand-made pure beeswax candles, organic soap, natural perfumes, lip balms, and eco-friendly gifts. All of Jane's great products are also available online.

I bring you Jane:

"Wisdom comes with age...

...I guess I'm not old enough yet! I think that perhaps the phrase confuses wisdom with plain, old life experience. At 63 I have plenty of that, but wisdom? 

My old Doubleday Dictionary defines wisdom as: 1. The ability to discern what is true or right and to make sound judgments based on such discernment. 2. Insight or intuition. 3. Common sense. 4. A high degree of knowledge; learning. 5. An accumulated body of knowledge, as in philosophy, science, etc.

I'd probably get a passing mark for #1. I'm not bad at #2, and #3 I think I have in spades! I'd not get high grades for #4 or #5.  The first three definitions come from experience; the last two from learning/education. I think I'm a tad wiser than I used to be in that I wouldn't repeat a past mistake, but there again, I wouldn't have known to not repeat it if I hadn't experienced it in the first place — insight and common sense both!

“Leap, and the net will appear.” Experience gives us the confidence to believe in ourselves, to not second guess ourselves or needlessly heed others’ opinions. I think I need to experience a lot more, though, to be a truly wise, old woman, and I'm looking forward to it. I’ve always worked where my heart is, the not-for-profit sector (no benefits or pension plans); now I have Smallbones, a risky experiment in which I have pride. My motto is "Simple, Sustainable & Natural"! In a couple of years I’ll retire, I hope, and have the time and energy (fingers crossed) to spend the next phase enjoying and experimenting with my simple life. The scent of freedom is enticing! 

Allow me to share some of the things that are different since I turned 60 (an age, BTW, that came as a complete shock!). Letting go: hair colour and style, fashion, makeup — no more hair dye, I don't care that I'm wearing my 25 year old coat;  it's bright and cheerful and warm. What am I going to do when I grow up? It's a little late to be worrying about that now; life went ahead, regardless. Stewing over past hurts/losses/mistakes: the hurts and mistakes are mostly ancient history now; the losses still hurt, but they're a little easier to accept.

The worst thing about aging? How fast the years go by and how few are left. The last 20 years have flown past and 20 years ahead I'll be 83! Wonder if I’ll be wise by then? "



Thank you Jane. I love what you are doing.

Love is Art

One of my favorite sites, Daily Grommet, for all things new and exciting, recently featured a creative, outside-the-box-way to celebrate Valentine's Day, or any day. If you happen to be looking for a creative way to spice things up, the Jeremy Brown painting kits (below) put a sexy spin on couples’art. For those adventurous partners who give it a try, Jeremy’s body-painting technique is said to be a liberating, expressive, and beautiful way to create art together.

Oh baby...

Not sure I could comfortably put this on my wall if people knew what it actually was.

Seems so personal...as in...what body part made that little paint splat right there?

Hmmmm.

On another note, if you desire to spruce up your kissing technique, on this day of love, be sure to see last year's Valentine's Day post.

But perhaps what most of us just need to celebrate today with is a simple, wonderful six second hug.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Aging Gracefully in her Studio

This week's beauty is artist Liz Smith who is the creator of  Made in Lowell. Liz is a fellow lover of felted wool whom I met several years ago at the Sowa Holiday Market in Boston. Since then she has been featured on Martha Stewart with her polymer clay eggs and is creating  all sorts of things wonderful in her Etsy shop.

"I’m 42, turning 43 this year. My husband and I are both the youngest kids in our families with siblings much older than us. He’s the only other person I ever met with the same family structure as mine; 4 kids with 3 bunched together in age and one 7 or 8 years later. We were surprise babies for our parents. It was like being only children, with siblings. We grew up accustomed to being around older people. Our parents were often the age of our peers’ grandparents. I feel like this made me more attuned to the aging process, made older people less “other”.

Sometimes I feel alone in that I didn’t love being young, I think I exhaled when I reached 30. Not that I’m in a hurry to get through life, I cherish every moment. But I adore being an adult! I feel autonomous and in charge of my life, well, as much as anyone is. It’s such a contrast to the chaos I felt right through my childhood and into my twenties. I notice it every day and it feels like freedom.

I do notice that I have been inculcated with society’s youth obsession and sometimes find myself chagrined at the draping of my neck skin, the softening of my face. I am determined to fight these feelings as I believe they are false instincts, that I am brainwashed by advertising. No better proof of this is that I don’t have these thoughts about anyone else! Someone else's soft, wrinkled skin is a sweet indication of experience and wisdom.

I interact with the public a lot when I vend at craft shows. I make it a point to thoughtfully acknowledge and listen to anyone I think might have become invisible in society due to her age. It’s a small thing but I hope it helps.

If we are lucky, we grow old. I hope to be very, very lucky."

Thank you Liz for being this week's beauty. 

P.S.I love this picture of your adorable parents.

The Beauty of Being Alone

I am an extrovert who really enjoys being alone. Maybe this is partly due to having grown up as the youngest of five children with an eight year gap between myself and my next oldest sibling. From age ten and on I grew up as an only child.

I used to play cat's cradle all by myself with my fingers and toes.

And I learned to play both parts of the chopsticks duet simultaneously on the piano.

I busied my days with cooking and baking recipes from the Betty Crocker cookbook for kids, creating ornate doll houses out of big cardboard boxes, and learning how to knit and crochet. This was all before puberty hit, when kids tend to grow away from doing what they love.

To this day, I love to go to the movies solo, go on runs all by myself, and do errands alone.

I've learned, from observing my mom grow older, that enjoying time alone can come in very handy as life moves along, as we work less, and as friends pass away.

When we can enjoy being alone, the time to ourselves is rejuvenating.

I think the above clip is very inspiring.

I hope you do too.
XO, Louise

Thank you to Kathryn Feigal for letting me borrow it.

Aging Gracefully by Tapping In

This week's beauty is opera singer, massage therapist, poet, and home renovator Kathryn Feigal who is 63 years old.

"Most of my life I have had the unfortunate anxiety-producing combination of No Impulse Control and Caring Too Much What Other People Think. As you can imagine, this has created a perpetual cycle of regret. Now that I’m three months shy of 64, I’m somewhat dismayed to admit that I still struggle to preserve or maintain what's left of my imagined dignity. In confronting a society given over to a collective identification with frenzy, I’m less inclined to adapt to the illusions that society promotes. Maybe we all have a degree of Tourette's Syndrome with its accompanying rapping, hip-hopping bumbledom of multitasking to fulfill spurious requirements for living.

One of my favorite movie moments was the department store scene in The Women where Annette Bening, when assaulted by a department store cosmetic hawker said, "This is my face. Deal with it." Like Annette’s character, I think if I can avoid the temptations of the eternal youth marketers, the sellers of unnatural thinness and cosmetic surgery, I may be able to tap into who I really am.

Kathryn in flight

At this stage in life, this sentence keeps running through my head, “How do I want to live the rest of my life?” There’s an urgency that wasn’t there before. Joan Baez said, “You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.”

In taking care of my mother the last years of her life, I witnessed her inability to confront her fear of dying. She truly raged against the dying of the light. I know that I want to die consciously. I want to be fully alive when I die. I want to have lived my dreams.

I feel more propelled to condensed action since 3 close friends have died in the last couple of months. One of them lived a big portion of her life trying to please other people – doing things she really didn’t want to be doing. I now get it at a level that I never have before that I need to live my own life.  To punctuate this vow, I took a running, jumping, flying leap off a mountain last summer. 

I’m viewing my own personal process of aging as a series of leaps into future possibilities that I’m igniting with gusto. I’m realistic about the fantasies I recognize as unattainable and I’m able to release them. Lately I’ve been going through my house throwing away items that don’t fit in with my goal of producing and performing my One Woman Show.  It’s symbolic of the balancing force behind the things I’ve given up by aging. I don't need to fill the spaces I've cleared in my house. Now I have room in my head and heart for laser-beam clarity into my future artistic expressions.

Here's wishing you the same,

Kass"

Thank you m'dear.

You can enjoy Kathryn's poetry here as well as her neat site Redoing The Undone.

The Conversation of Life

This past weekend Mr.Fix-it and I went up to the little bungalow that we are renovating and putting on the market this spring. It's a waterfront property on beautiful Pleasant Lake in Deerfield, NH, just over an hour's drive from our home. A disgusting mess when we bought it eighteen months ago, it is now a gem, which I will be very sad to see it go when it sells.

Saturday evening greeted us with a star-speckled sky and after a night of camping out in the middle of our construction site, we awoke on Sunday to another sparkling January day. While Mr. Fix-it got right to work on installing the kitchen, I headed off to my favorite new breakfast spot called the Northwood Diner, just five miles down the road. The folks who own it and work there are so chilled-out and friendly that it made me consider moving to this neck of the woods.

Back at the house I busied myself upstairs with filling nail holes with putty, and scraping old paint and gunk off the windows with a razor blade. What is it about mindless, repetitive tasks that I like so much? I remember hearing actress Jodie Foster comment on this years ago- about how such tasks are so satisfying to her. Somehow I find such peace when I am doing home renovations. It's kind of like knitting is for me, actually.  I find it gratifying and rewarding to fix, or produce, something physical.

I realize, however, that it certainly isn't this way for everyone!

As I worked away, I got to thinking about what else I really love. Thankfully we get clearer on this the older we grow. I think that discovering what we really love is a big part of what life is all about, actually.  Zeroing in on what really rings our bell.

The other thing that I thought about was how much I love conversations about life. I think this is why I like reading blogs so much. I'm curious, and feel enriched to hear people's thoughts about life, and daily living. About making the pieces come together. About creating happiness around us. Sometimes it's the really small stuff- like what neat combination of ingredients went into a burrito- to the much broader, and bigger, and deeper conversations about figuring ourselves out, and the world that surrounds us.

So that's my weekend in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll have more updates as the project winds down and comes to a close.




Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life. ~Marcus Aurelius