February 07, 2015

This Is One Of Them

Photo by Caroline Fernandes
Cactus garden. Madeira, Portugal. Photo by Caroline Fernandes
It feels good to have a relatively unplanned weekend at home. As good, or better, as it sometimes does to have a full one.

Last week our eldest graduated from college and two days before that our youngest went off to a semester abroad in South Africa to study human rights and social change.

In the days before she left we were discussing favorite quotes. I thought the one below is good for younger people especially. I can remember thinking that the world might be over when I had a bad day.

But what does a mother say to a child when she is putting her on a plane, to the other side of the earth, to one of the ten most dangerous places in the world, especially for a woman ?

Don't go?

I love you?

I miss you already?

Come back to us safe and sound?

In the end what I came up with is my realization (not that long ago actually) that we need to be our own best friend.

Is this something that a mother should let her daughter discover for herself?


Do I wish that my mom had told me this?

I do.

So I told her that no one is really watching out for us or is as dependable as we are to ourselves.

This is because no one knows us as well as we know ourselves or cares about us as much we do.

I also told her to take good care of her "best friend". 

Body, mind, and spirit.

And to let the love for herself continue to grow. 

I weep as I write this now.

As I wept when she left.

I told her that I would be here, waiting for her,

being my own best friend too.


  1. Beautiful, Louise. And yes, I remember my daughter's voyage to S. Africa during aparthied. She WILL have people looking after her and there will be gated communities. She won't travel alone. I drove myself batty watching the news about the goings on then, but when I went there, I saw entirely different things than I did on the news. Jules is very organized and determined. Remember when she saved Tom with a cool head. She's going of the real life. It's time. She knows you'll always be there to discuss things. You have a tight family. Try to relax. You can't control this one, luvvy. Chris

  2. Thanks Chrissy. I am enjoying her stories and photos. Living for them actually. Thank you for your comment love. Xo

  3. I love this Louise. It really hit home for me with Michael and his family moving across the country. Even before I read this I've been on my journey to being my own best friend. It's the only way I'll get through this. You are wonderful for sharing your wisdom. Rhonda

    1. Rhonda it's so nice to hear from you but sad to hear that your adorable family is heading west. I had not heard this. Yes take good care of you. I'm sure you'll find new ways to enrich your life as time gores on. See you in August I hope! Xo