October 15, 2016

Inside of Us

Last weekend I took a solo journey to Kripalu, while Mr. Fix-It was away. I had never been to Kripalu and was curious to spend some time there, especially since I've been doing more yoga lately.

It had been a long time since I ventured off on my own like this. I don't think I've ever been alone for 3 days, even though there were plenty of other people there. It was a bit scary heading out, but also exciting to be doing it.

What was it going to be like to just be with myself for 3 days?

Who am I when everything else is not there?

Frequently lately, I've been craving more time alone. I've needed to cut the engine and stop taking care of what sometimes seems like a gazillion things and too many people.

I bet this rings a bell with many of you, nurturers that we are.

It turned out that I really liked the solitude, as I thought I would.

I stayed in a non-snoring dorm room with about 20 other women and decided to eat all my meals in the silent dining room. It was actually a relief not to speak with anyone unless I chose to.

One of my favorite things that I did all weekend was take a two hour paddle boarding class, where 12 of us paddled out into the lake, laid down on our boards and mediated among the lily pads and geese, while drifting back to shore. It was divine.

Peace and tranquility.

I found what I went looking for.

And a little bit more of me.