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July 06, 2012

Homeward Bound

Peony by Caroline Fernandes


The time has come to head to to my childhood home for the very last time. It has been sold. I have never given up anything that I love so much. But, it's time. It's time to gather with my four siblings, and divide up the contents, and say so long to a very well loved, gem of a home.

You know how we all have expectations about how something is going to be before we do it? Well, I am trying not to do that. 


However,

I don't want it to be this miserable time.

I want it to be a celebration.

Not a funeral.

I want it to be a sibling love fest (Uh oh... I said it...this might be an undelivered expectation).

I want it to be, as my sister-in-law Bonnie has said, "love soup".

I don't want all of us bickering over who got what and hurt feelings over what someone didn't get.

Nope.

Truthfully,

I kind of dread it.

In a way, at least some of it.

I don't even know what I want from the house anyway.

Sometimes belongings just seem so ridiculous. Half the beauty of anything there is that it has resided in this little oasis with everything else for the last 41 years. Like how peanut butter and jelly go together.

My mom isn't even there anymore preparing a nice lunch to have out on the deck. There is no longer a stash of wine in the cellar. So much of the house has already been fractured when she moved out 3 months ago with her most prized possessions.

And what's even worse: the memories are almost done being made.

Evening sky from the yard.
Luckily though,

we still

very much

have her.



3 comments:

  1. I have been thinking about your mom and George this week-as it was this time last year that we were enjoying the 4th of July with them! Hope your time back to your childhood home is another chance to make great memories with your family! (was sorta hoping one of you cousins would buy the house and keep in the family :)
    Give my love to your mom and all my cousins!

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  2. You are so right - having your Mom still is really the blessing! All the stuff is ... just stuff. Enjoy your sibling time together - that too is better than the stuff!

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  3. Rosanne I am so happy that you got to visit when you did. I know that my mom loved having you both.

    Rose, you are so darn right! People need people, they don't need stuff!

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