How many times do we need to cry but hold the tears inside ourselves instead?
Maybe we don't want to appear weak or too emotional
we fear breaking the dam of emotions that reside within us, because if we do open the dam, they may never end and overtake our lives, like a tsunami.
if we cry,
it is truly acknowledging that something is really hard or isn't right.
But it's normal for feelings to be hard and to struggle.
When we settle into challenging feelings being okay and good to have,
we're more able to see the light, and the lessons and move on to a more peaceful place.
This I've learned.
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One of things about my mom's upbringing was that her mom was bi-polar and because of this, the emotional climate in my mom's childhood was a hard thing for her to navigate.
Who would my mom come home to after school?
Her exuberant mom?
or her mom who could easily get overwhelmed with emotion and be in bed for days?
Later in life, in protection of these childhood memories, my mom learned to sweep hard emotions under the rug and carry on stoically. It's not that she never cried, because she certainly did, but she was more apt to hold tears in and carry on like a trooper.
This childhood coping skill became her emotional protector in life, when raw, uncomfortable feelings and situations surfaced.
Because of my mom's childhood, she unknowingly taught me to suppress my own tears when I was young. I learned from her that a few tears were okay, but I also learned, to buck-up and carry on.
Which in many ways, may have served me well the past few years, as I NAVIGATED THE ASYLUM. Sometime I felt that if I had cracked the hard shell protecting my heart and let the tears out more than I did, the tsunami might have drowned me, with its force.
But what I am learning now, as I make my way further, is that tears are our strength. Letting hard emotions out, helps us to process and heal. They allow us to be vulnerable and emotionally connect with others.
Tears allow us to access our truth, and share it, which can have an intimate domino effect with others.
Kind of like a healing circle.
Let our tears come.
Let them water our souls.
Let them heal us and be our strength.
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