5 Questions Answered by an ADHD Coach

  

As the featured clinician this month at the HALLOWELL ADHD CENTER, they asked me to answer these questions for our readers:

1. What do you think distinguishes you as a coach?

One of my favorite approaches is to coach our patients to "step into their courage” and do things that they are afraid to do. This usually requires stepping into some zone of discomfort but it can be very rewarding when they do. Sometimes people get overwhelmed with the details of setting a new plan in place and we work together to break it down into easier steps to manage. I hold people's hands through the uncomfortableness of growth. Frequently what gets in their way is lack of self-confidence and perfectionism. One of my favorite quotes is “It doesn’t hurt to ask others for anything.“ Many times this can be the beginning of a whole new rewarding path for them. Those with ADHD have a tendency to not ask for help because they don’t want to appear needy or weak etc but the reality is people generally really like to help one another.

2. If you could only give one tip to someone with ADHD what would it be?

My number one tip is to move your body! I can't tell you how important this and sleep are. Besides being active, I tell them to do what they’re afraid to do. Essentially, I tell them to never let fear stop them, step into their courage and have “fun” with their fear. It’s important to be OK with feeling uncomfortable. I help our patients manage their anxious feelings. If they do this, they will surprise themselves and be rewarded, as their life blossoms, instead of remaining stagnant. The other thing I share is never to be afraid of failure. We either win or we learn.

3. Is there anything you have learned from working with this population?

I’ve learned repeatedly how smart and creative the ADHD brain is. It is such a strength! Many people with ADHD have a hard time seeing their strengths because they focus on what isn’t working, rather than what is. Naturally, there is sometimes shame around mistakes that they feel they have made. I guide patients to see that they are not failures, they are just learning and growing. I really enjoy helping people navigate whatever they are struggling with. 

4. What do you like about working with people with ADHD?

I love what outside-the-box, big picture, creative thinkers they are. They make great problem solvers and are able to weave conclusions together that no one else can usually understand; but they are frequently right. ADHD people are often highly intuitive and need to trust their intuition. I also love that they have big hearts and usually want to help others. They also have lots of energy when they are doing something that they love to do and that really interests them. It’s great to see this unfold in people because it makes them happy as we create together what they want for themselves.

5. The Hallowell center is known for its strengths based approach, what is your understanding of that?

One of the first things I unearth with our patients is clarity on what they feel their strengths are. This can be a hard question for some as they are so focused on what isn't working but mining for their strengths really helps them identify their talents. I build hope and motivation by starting with what's working well or has worked well for them in the past. We work with their strengths (and challenges) and together we create a path forward with more ease. One of my favorite things is helping people fall more in love with their ADHD selves. We are all much better, and more capable than we think we are. 

In Its Place

Another great quote from Meryl Streep, whom I always pay attention to when she speaks.

I've been completely consumed lately by a Golden Globe winner I missed 11 years ago called THE AFFAIR.

If you haven't seen it, it is quite the investment to watch, as it's 53 episodes, but it is so well written and acted. I don't think I have ever watched anything so captivating on TV. The longer I watched, the more I realized how brilliant it is. Great character development. It's a masterpiece, I promise.

 

Turning Off the Worry Channel in our Heads

 

Trusting Ourselves

Meryl Streep once said: Let things fall apart — stop exhausting yourself trying to hold them together. Not everything is meant to last forever, and forcing what is already breaking will only drain you. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is let go. Let people be upset. Let them misunderstand you. Let them criticize and judge. Their opinions are reflections of their own perceptions, not a measure of your worth. You do not need to explain yourself to those who are committed to misunderstanding you. You are not responsible for how others choose to see you or how they react to your truth. Stop fearing the unknown. Stop asking, Where will I go? What will I do? as if the universe has not already carved a path for you. Loss can feel unbearable, but sometimes, it is simply clearing the way for something better. What is meant to leave will leave, no matter how desperately you try to hold on. What is meant to stay will find a way, no matter how uncertain things seem. Life always finds a way to balance itself, even when we can't see how. There is a rhythm to life, a natural order of endings and beginnings. When we resist that flow, we create suffering. We cling to what is breaking, fearing that nothing good will replace it. But this is an illusion. The universe is abundant, constantly unfolding new opportunities, new love, and new purpose. The only thing keeping you from it is your attachment to what no longer belongs to you. And never, for a second, believe that the best is behind you. Life does not stop offering beauty just because you have endured hardship. The good has not run out. There is still more joy to experience, more love to receive, more peace to be found. But you must be willing to make room for it. So, ask yourself-What am I holding onto that is holding me back? And when you find the answer, trust yourself enough to let it. 

Also, check out this beautiful 96-year-old. WE LIVE AS FULLY AS WE CAN, WITH WHAT WE HAVE.

How to Handle Difficult People

You may be getting my posts delivered for the first time in quite awhile as I accidently didn't have my delivery service connected for the longest time....😌

Below, at the bottom of this post, is one of the most powerful and helpful podcasts I have ever listened to. It is also available JUST ON AUDIO HERE  if you'd like to drive and listen to it or go for a walk etc. 

Talk about a profound ability for change.

The Spot Behind Our Hearts

DR.KATHY GRUVER has her PhD in Natural Health and in this absorbing 10 minute video shares the best advice I have heard recently about stress and an easy way of how to combat it. She also shares about the spot behind our hearts, called the thymus gland, that produces white blood cells and how a simple visualization can increase our immunity to anything, especially during this flu season, when germs are everywhere (according to the FLU MAP FROM THE CDC). If you have a hard time arriving at a mediative place, she also has a VERY simple suggestion, which has been working well for calming my non-mediative busy brain.

Happy New Year and love from me to you,

Louise