Aging Gracefully with a Blessing

This week's beauty is my favorite actress Meryl Streep. God I love her. I have always loved her. Turning 62 on June 22nd, Meryl's talent, and natural, ravishing looks are allowing her to act circles around her over botoxed, frozen-faced peers in her golden years. Meryl's next film out is The Iron Lady in which she plays British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

In an interview with Oprah, Meryl had this to share about aging:

"In our business, I think the attention that's given to how you look is cruel and unrealistic. The people in the audience will accept much more than the people who run the film studios will. I feel blessed to have my life. Besides, I have friends who are dead already, so why would I complain about getting older? We devalue ourselves, and we really have to stop that."

You said it darlin'!

Below is a clip of Meryl from 2006 with one of my other favorite people, Ellen.

The Early Boat

As some of you know, I went through menopause on the early side. All menses came to a halt for me on my 48th birthday... When it stopped I was like "Can this be? Is it coming back?"

But it was gone for good and to be honest, I haven't missed it. I know for many women there is sadness about reaching menopause and entering into the chapter of our lives where we are no longer able to conceive. A time that clearly signals that we are growing older. It was not this way for me. I guess reaching menopause was easy for me because the years leading up to it were not.

Tom and I had planned on having a larger family but after our two daughters were born, I never got pregnant again. I was 35 when we began trying to conceive our third child. Looking back, I was much more stressed then. We had a three and a five-year-old and I was commuting into Boston to work 32 hours a week as a knitwear technician at Susan Bristol. They were very hectic years and I was always on the anxious side. Dashing from here to there with two kids in tow, not a lot of sleep, and without the wisdom of taking better care of myself. You know what I mean.

All my fertility tests said that things looked normal. I was just getting older. So we tried and tried but nothing happened. The midwives kept suggesting I take "just a smigin of Clomid" to help with ovulation. I decided not to, thinking that we were lucky to have two healthy kids and if it didn't happen it was just meant to be. But it was hard, and sad. My heart goes out to women especially who aren't able to conceive at all.

For five years we tried without success. When I reached forty I knew that my chances were very slim and that it was mentally and emotionally time to move on. To this day I wish that I had tried acupuncture because it can help fertility problems.

And, to this day, I still miss that child that never came.

Photo by Alfred Borchard, Germany

Luckily for me, menopause wasn't difficult. I had heard such horror stories about other woman's transitions. I did have lots of hot flashes, and still have some, and I had a handful of crying jags, but for me menopause was relatively smooth sailing.  I credit this to having exercised almost daily throughout it.

Since then I’ve noticed that I'm traveling on a more even keel emotionally. I am enjoying the calmer seas. Dr. Christiane Northrup has said that PMS (and I assume menopause) is a time when what needs adjustment in our life gets highlighted. Kind of like the things that we need to work on get put under a magnifying glass. PMS and menopause are actually a gift, when all along I had been thinking them as something that I needed to disregard!

Hormonal fluxuations can make what is bothering us about ten (or even a hundred) times bigger wouldn't you say? The thing is, I no longer have this alarm system to alert me to what needs work in my life now. So I am trying to remember to get quiet enough and remember to listen to my inner voice. I also find exercise really helps with this.

I have some of my biggest realizations when I am out for a run, or in the pool swimming, down under.

Have a good week dear readers of mine.
xo, Louise

Aging Gracefully with Unexpected Joys

This week's beauty is award winning author, activist and communications consultant Shari Graydon whose latest book, an anthology titled I Feel Great About My Hands-And Other Unexpected Joys of Aging, recently hit the bookstores. So recently that I haven't had time to read it yet. But if it is as good as Shari's introduction that follows, I know I will like it.

I bring you Shari Graydon:

"Going through an old box of VHS tapes in preparation for a move recently, I stopped to view a series of commentaries I wrote and performed on CBC TV in the mid 1990s. I remembered the experience as deeply fraught. Unlike crafting arguments for the newspaper or radio, where my unshaped eyebrows or unsuitable clothing in no way interfered with the persuasiveness of my prose, TV commentary demanded an unprecedented degree of appearance vigilance. Insightful analysis could be easily and irrevocably hijacked by wind-whipped hair, my nose in profile, or visible evidence of my face’s recent intimacy with a pillow.

But watching the commentaries 15 years later, what struck me more than anything was how surprisingly okay I looked—if only relative to today. What exactly was my problem, I wondered. And that’s when I made the leap into the realm of French novelist Colette.  It was she who famously observed, “What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I had realized it sooner.”

At that moment I vowed to keep on realizing that how I look and feel this year is likely better than I will next. As a still healthy 53-year-old, my carpal tunnel syndrome, growing bunions and sensitive digestive system are minor annoyances, put in regular context by my mother’s encroaching blindness, hearing loss and degenerating back. The time to celebrate is, indeed, now.

More importantly, while I was editing the wonderful and diverse reflections that have become I Feel Great About My Hands- And Other Unexpected Joys of Aging, my eldest sister was taken by cancer. Only 55, she was starting to experience many of the kinds of benefits celebrated in the collection: the years of accumulated wisdom and the confidence it bestows; the clarity around priorities; the willingness to unequivocally own who you are and speak the truth as you see it. 

Sally’s death underlined for me the obvious (but easily forgotten) truth: the alternative to growing old is not remaining young (despite what the purveyors of Botox, Viagra and other wonder pharmaceuticals would have us believe); it’s dying before one’s time. I think of my sister often, knowing that she would have embraced all of the worst indignities of aging just to spend a few more years with the people she loved."

By Shari Graydon, adapted from the introduction to I Feel Great About My Hands- And Other Unexpected Joys of Aging. Photo by Helene Anne Fortin. Helen also contributed an essay to the anthology.

Thank you Shari for your contribution to Lines of Beauty.

Below is a recent interview with Shari discussing her book.

The Revelation Project

Last Friday I drove down to Wakefield, Rhode Island to take part  in The Revelation Project. The founders of the project, Robyn Ivy and Monica Rodgers, are both photographers and self improvement mavens. I had never met them before I showed up at their door but loved what they were up to.

The Revelation Project is a combination photo shoot and discovery process intended to give participants a new vision of themselves. Kind of like photo therapy I guess. It was interesting for me to observe what went on inside my little noggin as their cameras snapped away. I'll write about my experience in an interview that they ask participants to respond to. I haven't seen the photos yet but I will say this- I have already gained so much from the process before even seeing them. The curve ball, and the kind of scary thing, is that the photos will get posted before I get to see them.

Monica posted the above video on the The Revelation Project's blog yesterday and after I watched it I thought it summed up very well- at least in part- what it was like for me to do the project.

Here are the 8 Irresistible Principles of Fun:

Stop hiding who you really are.
Start being intensely selfish.
Stop following the rules.
Start scaring yourself.
Stop taking it all so damn seriously.
Start getting rid of crap (that's weighing you down).
Stop being busy.

The video is great. It says that it is almost nine minutes long but it's really only eight so when you have time to relax and take it in be sure to circle back around if you can't watch it now.

Also lots of fabulous photos of other women who have done The Revelation Project on their Facebook page if you are interested.

In closing, I leave you with this quote that I keep bumping into:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us ~Marianne Williamson

He Aged with Simplicity



My dad and the wooden rowboat that he built in our garage.


This week's beauty is my dad who passed away ten years ago on Memorial Day weekend at the age of 82.

My dad was an metallurgical engineer, a sailor, a liberal, an avid reader, and a lover of nature who could frequently be found with a pair of binoculars around his neck. He thought the best thing about life is it's mystery, and the worst thing is people's cruelty to others. In 1999 I interviewed my whole family for a project I was doing called On The Brink Of A New Millennium. I asked each family member forty questions about their life. When I inquired what my dad's words of wisdom were he simply wrote:

Love people.


I miss his simplicity.


I miss hearing his voice,

and his sound advice.

I miss hugging him, and how he smelled.

I miss so many things about you, Dad.



At his memorial service I read a poem that I had written and given him for Father's Day the year before he died. It went like this:

      What You Are To Me

You are a wonderful father
who I could say most anything to if I needed.

You really have been quite liberal
and in your own quiet, unique way, very loving.

You have applauded when I have been responsible
and honest, and sensible
And you have been there for me to share my joy
when I knew that I was shining.

You are the intelligent man
The shy guy
The nature boy
The reader

The guy with the friendly blue eyes
who fiddles his keys and bites his tongue
in moments of thought or angst.

The father who more than anything I think
just wants his family to be safe, healthy,
happy, honest, and respected.

And as I have said before
you and mom have set the tone for my life.
A simple, beautiful, lyrical one of love,
that will be passed along for generations.

Papa, tonight's sunset is for you.

On the Runway at Age 82

Britain's 82-year-old Daphne Selfe has been a model since her twenties but didn't really hit her stride until she turned 70. Never having had any plastic surgery, this grandmother of four now has a successful career working for companies like Dolce & Gabbana and the Gap and has appeared in such magazines as Vogue, Marie Claire and Harper's Bazaar. Daphne used to dye her hair and says that going gray made her much more striking and that she is far more successful now than she has ever been because of it.

Daphne, a former horseback rider, now does yoga, pilates and gardening to keep fit. And she can still do splits!

Here is what she has to say about going gray:

•  "I can't understand why so many women whose hair has lost its color feel compelled to douse it with dye.

• Going gray is nature's way of complementing an older complexion.

• It was an extraordinary relief to be embracing my natural self, no longer clinging onto the past.

• I don't care about the lines on my face. Age happens to us all, no one's immune, and I would never buy an expensive face cream, let alone consider surgery.

• At 80, you do have to pace yourself, but I have no plans to retire. Models and actresses don't do that - they just wait for the phone to stop ringing. It hasn't yet." 

And I have a feeling that it won't!

Photo by Mark Playle   www.playlephotography.wordpress.com

Keep it up Daphne. You are amazing. It's women like you who set the example for so many others about allowing ourselves to age naturally and just be who we are.

A great article on Daphne by Pamela Shields here.

More photos of Daphne here.

Aging Gracefully with Beauty

This week's beauty is children's book author and illustrator Susan Beckhorn. Susan and I are second cousins and I believe we've only met each other once almost twenty years ago at her parent's house. I have very fond memories of her and the visit. Her parents home not only had an arts and crafts room, but also a dress-up room for children that I was very taken with. Not to mention their beautiful horses, right on a lake.

Susan has this to share about beauty:

"Beauty changes, fades, deepens, takes many forms. At fifty-seven, if my fingernails, hair, and body are clean and reasonably trim, I am quite content. I am the mother of Fern (27), a spiritual painter and passionate runner with a keen understanding of language and humor—my thunderstorm and rainbow girl, and the mother of Spring (25), ocean girl, lover of children, dogs, and all living things, who goes out on “Big Night” to rescue migrating salamanders, and whose smile lights the world. I am the wife of Fred (also 57) who brings me coffee every morning and makes me a home-grown salad every night, who tends our land, and who transforms wood into functional works of art. I have kind, and quirky family and friends. I have pets who give me joy. After thirty-one years here at “Toad Hill,” our home is beautiful and comfortable—so long as one can overlook some clutter and weeds.

As a children’s book author and illustrator, I have not yet been highly “successful” in my career—if you count success in dollars and Amazon numbers—but my books give me fulfillment. It is the worst of jobs when rejections pile up, the well of inspiration seems dry, life sucks away my writing time, books go out of print (small deaths that only the author fully mourns), and self doubt creeps in. It is also the best of jobs when an editor says yes, I get an advance check, my words appear in print, a good review comes along, a school visit leaves me elated—or I get a letter from a child who loved a story.

Susan's female Jack Russell, George.

I am still full of dreams. I dream that my daughters’dreams will come true, that my husband will find customers for his beautiful furniture line Natural Form Furniture, that our tomatoes will ripen, our apple trees set fruit, and our chickens lay eggs. I dream of writing that story which stays in print. I dream of seeing a trailing arbutus in bloom and a cerulean warbler, of being able to paint and draw the way I would like, of organizing my life. I dream of holding a grand-baby in my arms (no pressure girls . . .!).

I am blessed with a strong and good body, which I have finally learned to love. It has weathered well. I think of old trees that lose limbs, develop cavities, are sometimes even lightning struck, yet still sprout new leaves every spring. I have stopped coloring my hair, thanks to my daughter, Spring, and started wearing it in braids, because, if Willie Nelson can, so can I.

I walk, cross-country ski, garden, kayak, do yoga, play the guitar, sing, bird watch, and ride my little horse Katy, who at twenty still thinks a flat out gallop is the only way to go. I still see wonders every day. Am I beautiful? I don’t know. I do know that my life is full and very beautiful."

Susan also has a blog.

Thank you for being this week's beauty Susan. You are so beautiful.

                       

Interior Renovation

I've been thinking about the future lately. Questions like "how do I want to spend the rest of my life?" and "What's the next best step for me?" Ever think about this? I'm sure most of you probably do. I'm about to drop some packets in the mail to my favorite magazines about Lines of Beauty. What if no one likes my idea that is so dear to my heart? What's my next step then?

Aside from this, with college tuition bills looming, I wonder if I should go back and work for a clothing company again doing knitwear, or maybe go back to school and get a masters degree in social work? Would I even make a good therapist I wonder? Maybe I should be a mid-wife, or a doula?

Can I just keep writing this blog?

This is what I really like to do.

I think I just need to keep following my heart and trust it to be my compass. Seems though lately that my compass is all over the place. Maybe this is what happens when you hit mid-life & your kids go off to college. I wouldn't call what I am having a mid-life crisis...maybe just a mid-life quandary...

Tom and I are doing an interior renovation of another kind on a waterfront property that we bought on Pleasant Lake in Deerfield, New Hampshire last summer. He's been working hard on it on the weekends and I am helping him now with the easy stuff so that we can finish it up and put it on the market. It was a complete wreck of place, but he gutted it, winterized it, and it's becoming a gem that we are going to be very sad to let go.

This is Tom on Sunday when we were there finishing up the plastering before the painters come this week. It was pouring outside. The floors go in soon, and also the dock...

This is the upstairs shower. We were uncertain what to do in this bathroom and then Tom had the brilliant idea to just copy the bathroom that we put into our own house a few years ago because we like it so much. Genius.

I like going here with him. It gives us much needed time to catch up on the hour drive, and to talk while we're working.

And soon we'll be able to swim.

If it ever warms up enough here in New England.

Aging Gracefully Through Rose Colored Glasses

Pat and Cindy

This week's beauty is Pat Weintraub who will be 84 in July. I visited Pat recently because she is my good friend Cindy's mom. Cindy and I grew up together. Back in the 70s Pat was a very hip, grayed haired, horse loving mother who zipped around in her red MG convertible listening to Neil Young. She and her husband Whitey (another dear) raised 8 children and eventually ditched their country club life and moved to a ranch outside of town where she raised 21 horses, and many other animals. She later started Morningdove Farm which breeded Ragdoll cats. I use to love to visit the Weintraub family as there was always something exciting going on. Like Nettie, their goat, or one of their ponies casually strolling through their antique filled farm house every now and then! I am not kidding.

Tuscany from Morningdove Farm

Pat has had two hip replacements in recent years. When I asked how aging was going she said "Horrible! You want to do things but you can't. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!" But she explained that what carries her through is her sense of humor. She said that we all need to be able to laugh no matter what. She explained that she likes to think about happy things and that the world looks much better through rose colored glasses. She also said that her strong spirituality has played a very important role in her life.

Sounds like a recipe for positive thinking to me.

I have to also add that music still plays prominently in Pat's life as I noticed a Neil Young CD or two on her table when I was visiting :-)

Still a hip momma after all these years.

Be sure to check out the video of Pat and her dance partner Vince. They met each other recently at a retirement home and it couldn't be sweeter.

Pat thank you for being this week's beauty.

xo, Louise

She Doesn't Care What You Think

Today I made my way back across New York State and Massachusetts after spending a long weekend with my mom and sister in Canada to celebrate not only Mother's Day but also my 50th and my sister's and mom's upcoming 60th and 90th birthdays. We spent a few nights in Niagara-on-the-Lake, a charming town with British quaintness where the Niagara River flows into Lake Ontario. All the trees were blooming and the tulips were popping, and we fed ourselves to the gills with great food and had lots of good laughs and relaxation. Although all the meals were memorable, my favorite was at the Charles Inn  should you ever be north of Niagara Falls. Ohh la la.

After two weekends away it's time to settle back into regular life, get back to work, and at least begin some gardening. Our yard is such a wreck.

What follows has been going around the internet as having been written by Andy Rooney from 60 Minutes but it was actually written by Frank Kaiser. I think it is so true. As I grow older I like how much less anxious I am about so many things in life such as these:

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over 50 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over 50 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. They always know.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize."

Thanks to Jack in lane #1 for sending this in.

Aging Gracefully with Enjoyment

Happy Mother's Day to all you hard working mothers out there. This week's beauty is Tom Fernandes of HTR Construction who is 48 years old.

And guess what? Tom is my husband :-) He is also my very good friend and a great person. My partner in life. We met each other twenty-seven years ago while waiting for a subway at Park Street Station in Boston on a cold November night when I was on my way to meet a friend for a movie. During our conversation he asked me what movie I was going to see and I replied "Educating Rita, have you ever seen it?" but because of the noise on the subway he thought I said "Educating Rita, would you like to see it?"  To which he responded "Sure, I'd love to go!"  I had four stops on the subway to decide whether this was a good idea, or not...

Well it turns out that it was, and we have been together ever since. You know that intuitive voice that we all hear inside ourselves from time to time?  Well, that night, when I first saw him and before we even said hello, that inner voice said to me: "I wonder if this is who I am going to be with for the rest of my life?"

I kid you not.

Before Tom's tells you his thoughts on aging I want to say that I am so lucky to have him to ride with on the roller coaster of life- and the normal ebb and flow of being in an intimate relationship with someone for this many years. He is smart, and fun, and amazingly supportive of my inner voice.  He is the first person I go to when I am in a quandary because he is thinker and tends to see angles in life that I tend to miss because I am such a feeler. He is also a wonderful Dad to our kids, an incredibly hard working entrepreneur, but most importantly to me- he has a very soft spot in his big heart.

I bring you Tom:

" I'm at a point in my life where my priorities are about to change in a major way. I'm trying to get a high level view on what I have yet to accomplish and what I choose to take on going forward.

I've arranged my world around my family since Louise and I got married and decided to have children. As that challenge demands less and less, I'm free to choose some new endeavors and focus my time and energy on different activities. I'm going with enjoyment for a couple of reasons. When my body breaks down, and that could come suddenly, I don't want to have regrets about what I coulda, shoulda, woulda done when I was younger. Also, my mindset for many years has been dedication, commitment and sacrifice for the benefit of my family. I think it's a good time to lighten up, live a more conscious life and choose new things that I enjoy in addition to having a family. This will not be a sudden drastic shift. It's just my thoughts on preparation for a life without having to nurture children on a daily basis. This is what is next for me."

Thank you sweetie for being this week's beauty.
You are my every day beauty. xo

The Healing Benefits of Friendship

This past weekend I took a break from regular life and drove to pretty Seneca Lake, New York to join Marci Lubore Calantonio on our good friend Cindy's weekly radio show Hope, Health and Healing. The topic? The healing benefits of friendship. Not being a seasoned public speaker it was definitely in the realm of "do what you are afraid to do" for me.  I was a guest on Cindy's show for Lines of Beauty last fall but it was via the phone from the comfort of my home. Airing live from the radio station was a little different! It went fine though as things almost always do that I fear.

I realize this post would be a mile long if I write everything that we discussed. It was all so good, but here are some of the highlights:

• Friendships help to take the weight of the world off our shoulders. Sharing with a friend about life helps to offload stress immensely. Mountains become molehills when you have the support of a friend.

• A sign of a healthy friendship is one in which you can be yourselves and want the very best for each other.

• Friends become even more important to have the older we become. As other things fall to the wayside in life the love and support of friends helps to keep us happy, connected to the world, and healthy.

•  Marci explained that we all have 3 big needs- to be accepted, to be approved of, and to be appreciated. True friendships help to fill these needs in one another. They give us validation.

• The spark for friendship is always there no matter how old we are. One of the things that I admire most about my mom at age 89 is that she continues to have new friends in her life.

• This is from Oprah: Stress feels more manageable when you have good friendships. When women are stressed, their brains release the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which encourages them to bond. (Male brains, on the other hand, are more subject to the effects of the hormones cortisol and adrenaline, which promote the fight-or-flight response.) The female response is much more effective in mitigating stress and may be one reason women tend to outlive men.

• From Tom Rath's book Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford To Live Without- "If you ask people why they became homeless, why their marriage failed or why they overeat, they often say it is because of the poor quality, or nonexistence, of friendships."

And from yours truly:

• I think our friendships center our life experiences. Our friendships also help us to feel safer in this crazy, uneasy world we live in. Friendships to me are like wrapping myself in a big cozy sweater. 

• I also think that you need to be your own best friend. No one is going to watch out for us better than ourselves. No one knows us better and is go to take better care of us. When we're our own best friend we can follow our heart and soul's compass and be a good friend to others.

Lots more great info from the show if you'd like to listen here.

Have a good week everyone,
Louise

Aging Gracefully with Love

This week's beauties are Lines of Beauty's first couple, artists Alice and Richard Matzkin. Some of you may remember that I featured the Matzkins and their wonderful first video The Art of Aging- Celebrating the Authentic Aging Self  last autumn. If you missed it, it's a must see as it's about their journey to embracing and celebrating the aging process through their art. One of things that struck me in the Matzkin's latest video (posted below) is that they have married each other not just once or twice, but five times. The last time they married they vowed to each other that they would always remember that this might be the last day that they can be together. What an inspiration. I say this because clearly they are a couple who are committed to creating a great marriage.

Too bad they are on the west coast as I'd love to have them for dinner.

This is what.the Matzkins have to share about growing older:

"We are Richard and Alice Matzkin a loving husband and wife, presently in our late sixties and early seventies.  As we entered middle age, we became disturbed by the increasing signs of aging we were experiencing – wrinkles, bulges, grey hair, etc.  Being artists – Alice is a painter, Richard is a sculptor – we began using our art as a way to explore and work through our emotional turmoil and negative views we held about aging.  After 15 years, we have produced an impressive body of work, and a beautiful art/inspirational book, THE ART OF AGING, Celebrating the Authentic Aging Self (Sentient Publications, June, 2009).  Most important, this work has helped us come to a sense of peace and appreciation of our aging process.

Through various art projects related to aging, we have explored essential issues about growing older, such as …looking beyond the surface and discovering inner beauty. … joys and advantages of mature love and relationships ... finding acceptance of the changes taking place in our aging bodies … coming to peace with parents in their old age and death. These art projects, writings, and interviews with elders who are living their lives with passion and zest, have helped us discover that aging can be a time of ripening and harvest rather than stagnation and despair. 

Photo by Donna Granata, Focus on the Masters, Series 2009

Especially in our age-conscious society, “old” brings up fear and judgment.  While we don’t minimize the challenges of growing old, we have found our present moment to be among the best of our lives.  Age has given us a wider perspective, a deeper understanding of the meaning of our lives, a gratefulness and appreciation of the preciousness of “now”.  This has come about primarily because, instead of trying to hide or deny the ongoing effects of time on our body and mind, we have attempted to consciously and joyfully embrace our aging.  This is a message of hope that people of all ages can benefit from."

What follows is the Matzkins latest video The Art of Aging. In it Alice's paintings and Richard's sculptures capture people over the age of seventy. The Matzkins also explain that aging has deepened their love for each other. They say that life becomes more precious as it goes on, as does their time together.

Thank you Alice and Richard for being this week's beauties.

Gratefully Green

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The simple, pared down lifestyle of the Johnson family, above, caught my attention on The Today Show this past week. All I could think of was what a different place this planet would be if we could all pay a little more attention to the waste that we create. And they do it so beautifully.

I am not a die-hard green girl but I honestly enjoy paying attention to the impact that I am having. It's a start. In the last few years, I've bought a second-hand hybrid. I rarely accept a shopping bag when I make purchases from a store, and I try to be ruthless about turning off lights. We also rarely get take-out in part because I hate all the packaging. In addition, my felted wool sweater, accessory and houseware line, The Hole Thing, is made solely from recycled sweaters. 

Years ago I also decided that I prefer the simplicity of just having two bras (one black, one white) and only a few pair of jeans going at a time. This was before anyone was worrying about the environment. I did it simply because it is easier to keep track of fewer things and it suits me. And it's inexpensive.

Americans SHOP and SHOP and SHOP and it's so disgusting. It's ruining our planet. We are a culture of consumers who shop to make ourselves feel better and to fill emotional voids, or to keep up with the Joneses. It's so pathetic. 

I can be guilty of this too....

If you have not yet seen the documentary No Impact Man, about a Manhattan family that takes a year off and rides only bikes and scooters and doesn't buy ANYTHING but locally grown food, it is a very entertaining and fun film to watch. Great for all ages. You won't be disappointed.

And if you have not yet seen Annie Leonard's The Story of Stuff  you can watch it on YouTube if you're interested. It is out in book form now as well.

Also Kim Urig, a former Lines of Beauty beauty of the week, has a great green blog called Our Daily Green that you might enjoy too. Not to mention my dear cyber buddy Aldra and her fabulous blog Consciously Frugal out there on the left coast.

  

Aging Gracefully with Photography

This week's beauty is Rose who is 84-years-old. I met Rose at my first master's swim meet last fall. Rose raced the 50 freestyle right before I did. She was so remarkable that I wanted to be sure to say hello to her before I left the meet. I went into the locker room to shower and who should be in the shower next to mine but Rose.

Rose has four children and besides swimming spends her time gardening and doing photography. She also started a lyme disease support group since getting lyme disease herself a few years ago. Members of the support group come from 43 towns. Rose said that the lyme disease has affected her short term memory and that taking pictures helps her to remember things.

Photograph by Rose

Roses's daughter Patty told me that she really looks up to her Mom and hopes that she can have the energy that her mom has at age 84. She said that her mom forgot her bathing suit once and borrowed hers and looked better in the bathing suit than she does! She said that her mom has always loved to race sailboats and still sails a Sail Fish, as well as three remote control sailboats on the pond where she lives. She is also very computer literate for her age, and likes to ride her blue bike all around town.

When I asked Rose about her secrets to good health she said that besides swimming she has always eaten very healthfully and especially likes low-fat milk. She said that one of the most important things to aging well is having good friends and family in her life.

Her daughter Patty added that Rose has spent her life caring for people and doing for others.

Thank you Rose for being this week's beauty. You are quite an inspiration.

New For Spring

As some of you know, until 2007 I worked in knitwear design for Susan Bristol for sixteen years. In the last year or two, before the company went under, someone cut an ad out of a magazine and taped it to one of the design room doors. The ad said "It's not how young you look, it's how good you look."  I saw the ad a gazillion times because it was on a door that I passed through frequently. I remember always thinking how perfect it was.

Anyway, in keeping with this, I always get a little excited about what is new and different in the world of fashion even though I am a far cry from a fashionista or a 'clothes horse', as they use to say. I sometimes wear old clothes that I have had for ages and love, but still there is something exciting to me about what designers have drummed up to present to us each season. It's like a breath of fresh air. 

So here is what's new for spring 2011:

For Color:
 

Nudes, neutrals

All shades of orange are really big

Rust, sienna, sand

Brights are big too.

Color blocking is back.
Lots of pastels.


For Style:

Striped tees
Chambray-the light weight, light colored denim, has made it's way back again into pants, tops, skirts, and dresses.

Happy prints all mixed-up and worn together. I love this.

Sheer layers.

Polka dots.

Wide-leg pants, long jersey skirts, big blouses, draped dresses.

70's silhouettes.

Tops worn out, not tucked in.

Lace is everywhere.

Sweet A-line coats.

Military’ish jackets and dresses

High waisted flared jeans.

Retro bohemian staples like peasant blouses and floor-grazing skirts.

Big bangle bracelets

Japanese inspired styles.

Embellishment is out.

Simplicity is in.

Also, on another fashion note, I found a very interesting  little gizmo on Real Simple's site that allows you to see what you look like with all different hair styles. This was particularly interesting to me because I have pretty much been sporting the same hair style my whole life while quietly wondering- how would I look in short hair? How would I look in bangs?  All you have to do is upload a forward facing picture of yourself. If their hair styles aren't sitting on your head exactly in the right position you can use the arrow buttons underneath your photo to adjust them.

So what did I find out?

That bangs make me look like a guy in drag :-) 

Check these before and afters out:

Also, click here for the lastest Michelle Obama fashion slide show.


 Happy spring everyone.

Aging Gracefully with the Beauty of Textiles

This week's beauty is Sara Sharpless who recently turned 40. A few summers ago I visited Dorset, VT with my mom and my sister for a long weekend. While there my mom bought this fabulous Turkish purse (or pocketbook as they say here in New England) at a store in Dorset.  After I got home I really wished that I had bought one too. Finally I called my Mom to ask her if she could look in her purse to see if there was a label of who had made it. It turns out it was made by Sara and her husband Ersan, who is from Turkey, and their company Derin International. After going on their website, I was so taken with the collection that I ended up buying their beautiful Turkish bags, eye glass holders and note cards to sell at my trunk show this past November.  I sold out of many styles. Their make-up bags and little coin purses were especially a big hit.

Today I am pleased to introduce Sara Sharpless:

Shortly after we were married,  Ersan and I moved from New York City to Ersan’s native Istanbul, Turkey . It was there that we discovered small purses made out of replicas on traditional woven carpets. So taken with the beauty of the fabric, we were inspired to create our own fabrics and designs, more in tune with the American market. The response to our vision was overwhelming.We now live in the beautiful Hudson Valley region of New York and I design all of our bags and colors, with the help of our weavers. Our line of accessories, bags and shoes are still made in Turkey.

I am fluent in the Turkish language and have learned all I can about the food, culture and way of life.  I love to cook and have mastered most of my mother-in-laws dishes. In addition to the business, we have two wonderful children. I feel raising them has been the most wonderful, difficult and rewarding experience life has to offer me. Every summer our whole family journeys over to Turkey and we will one day live there again.
 

I am the type of person who use to never stop. My life was go, go, go for 10 years. And now, I am at a very interesting point in my life and have really done a lot of soul searching this year. Six months ago I was diagnosed with lupus. When my body started saying "no, no you must stop" it was very difficult at first.  I realized that I was rushing my life away never really enjoying all of my blessings.  It has been quite a journey of taking steps forward and then back again.  It has given me an unusual opportunity to reflect at this time in my life. I have gained an unbelievable appreciation for all I have. I am now able to look at my life's daily stresses and let them roll off my back. Perhaps this is the beginning of me aging gracefully.

Thank you Sara for sharing your journey.

Derin's collection is available on their website above. I am not getting a commission on sales or anything but I just want to say, being the thrifty gal that I am, one of the things I like most about their beautiful line is that is very affordable. And they have a great sale section too :-)

Lines of Beauty Has a Birthday

Yesterday Lines of Beauty turned one :-)

I didn’t have any idea what I was heading into when I began this site. All I knew was that I had to start it. When I think back to my main concern, other than a time constraint, I can’t believe that what might have potentially derailed Lines of Beauty was my worry about what people were going to think of me. Holy mother of god don’t ever let this thought get in the way when your heart is telling you to do something. Promise me.

Little did I know a year ago how much Lines of Beauty would enrich my life. Little did I know that my checkbook would never get balanced again, or that my sheets wouldn’t get changed as regularly, or that the fall leaves wouldn’t get completely raked before the first snow fell. I also didn’t foresee that a love affair between writing and I would ignite. Until this year I always thought for me to be creative it involved yarn, an embroidery needle and some felted wool. Now I know that as long as I am creating something, even if it’s cooking, I am usually a pretty content girl.

Early on in the year I remember my sister asking me how I felt about Lines of Beauty. My response was that I felt different about it every day. Some days it energized me; some days I wondered what the hell I was doing. But as the year continued on I could see from my stats that my readership was growing and I became slightly obsessed with how people were arriving at Lines of Beauty. I grew encouraged, and Lines of Beauty found a comfy little home in my life. It has become my favorite thing to do.

And this is where I begin to get a bit verklempt:  If it weren’t for all of you and your continued support and interest in the conversation of aging, I wouldn’t be writing this post. I know for some of you embracing aging is a challenge. I hear you. It is at times for me as well.  I want to thank you all for visiting when life allows you the time. I would especially like to thank all of this year's ‘beauties of week’, pictured above, for stepping up and sharing your story. So many of you have said that it was an enriching exercise to be featured, which makes me happy. I can’t wait to hear more of your stories. I know that there are probably many of you out there that are hesitating sending yours in, and to you, one of my favorite quotes come to mind: Nothing feels better than doing what you are afraid to do. So send your thoughts on in!

In closing I want to share with you a very serendipitous blog birthday surprise that occurred. Lines of Beauty turned one yesterday and also yesterday our little baby got its first mention in the press.  It was completely coincidental. It was like magic.

Special thanks to Aldra at Consciously Frugal for letting me steal your ‘holy mother of god’ line that I love so much.

And love to you all,
from down under (the water),

Louise

Aging Gracefully Through All The External Noise

This week's beauty is Medelise Reifsteck. Medelise is the sister-in-law of my sister-in-law Laura, and I have a hunch that Medelise and I share a similar creative/energetic thread that runs through both of us. Aside from being a mom, she runs The Garden of Wings Butterfly Pavilion in South Kingstown, RI. She is also a ski instructor at Burke mountain in Vermont where this year she was named the most requested instructor in the snow sports department. Medelise will also begin teaching surfing lessons with Peter Pan and Narragansett Juice at a local surf shop this summer.

But that's not all. Medelise recently participated in The Revelation Project which is a great new photography project intended to guide participants to a new vision of themselves through exploring concepts, and constructing self esteem. It is NOT about beauty, great skin, perfection, being skinny, or fixing us. The project is just nine weeks old and sounds amazing.  I am hoping to partake in it as well. Their website isn't all the way up but click on their blog for more info about the project if you are interested and be sure to catch their short film at the end of this post.

Here are Medelise's thoughts about mid-life:

I forget sometimes that I am almost 50; I started surfing when I was 42, created my dream job when I was 46, started working as a ski instructor when I was 47 and at now at 48 am just beginning to embrace who I truly am! It is not always total bliss but there is a tremendous feeling of satisfaction knowing that your authenticity can reign. The difficult part of aging isn't necessarily the loss of youth but realizing that if I had known what I know right now earlier that I would have had more time to enjoy the true beautiful person that I have always been but somehow couldn't see with all the external noise. I have struggled with a serious health condition in the last five years that robbed me of two precious years. It was a wake-up call for me....OK is not good enough. We all have the right to be happy and satisfied. We have a right to follow our heart on the path that will lead us there no matter how difficult that path may be.

There is a poem I carry in my wallet. I like to read it from time to time to remind myself of how much I have learned over the years:

Wisdom is sweeter than honey

brings more joy than wine

illumines more than the sun

is more precious than jewels.

She causes the ears to hear 

and the heart to comprehend

I love her like a mother

and she embraces me as her own child

I will follow in her footprints

 and she will not cast me away.

Thank you Medelise. I love the poem and your project photos and of course what you said about us all having a right to be happy and satisfied.

Below is a clip on The Revelation Project set to Alanis Morissette's "Thank You." Beautiful photos. I love the lyrics. xo Louise

The Revelation Project "THANK YOU" Video from monica Rodgers on Vimeo.

One Hundred Years Old Today

This past weekend two of my brothers and I traveled to Connecticut to join other relatives in the celebration of my cousin Betsy's 100th birthday. Betsy and my mom are first cousins. Doesn't she look terrific in her fresh flower lei? Betsy is truly a marvel. Before I left for the party I googled what percentage of the population makes it to age 100 and it is only .003%.  So Betsy has a lot to celebrate.

Betsy is the sister of Arthur-another dear centenarian, and the mother of Ellen.

I've known Betsy since I was a baby and she has always been so much fun to be around. As I explained in my toast to her at the party, she not only introduced me to New England and the Atlantic Ocean, but also to Florida and key lime pie. When I was young I loved to visit her just as I do now.

So what are Betsy's secrets you might be wondering? What allows a person to drive a car until they are 98 years old?

I think genetics have a lot to do with her longevity but so does exercise, which she still does regularly. She loves to do tai-chi and walk. Betsy also loves ice cream as well as a vodka with a splash of tonic every night at 5:00. That's my girl! She has also enjoyed a lifetime of ice dancing, playing bridge, and being a very talented artist.

Betsy it was wonderful to see you again on Sunday and get to celebrate your 100th with everyone. Thank you.

Happy birthday my dear :-)

4/6 Post Script:

Neat picture circa 1962 in Waterville, NH with Betsy (in the middle), me (as a baby next to my mom) and Betsy's daughter Ellen sitting to the right.


4/9 Post Script Two:

Forgot to post this article: Why Do Some People Live So Long?

Aging Gracefully with the Flow of Life

This week's beauty is Marci Lubore Calantonio. Marci has a ninth grade child as well as two kids in college and says that her greatest pleasure has been being able to work from home and raise, engage, and inspire her kids. Marci was able to do this for the past twenty-five years by being a medical linguistic specialist that creates legal records of patient/doctor encounters. She is a floral designer and has her own interior design/consulting business called GoToYour Room Designs. Marci also loves nature and the opportunity to be with horses whenever she can.

Marci has this to share about her life:

I am a 48-year-old really spirited, vibrant, woman. I’ve worked hard to get here! I have arrived in my greatest version yet. I do not feel a bit old, I feel renewed. I remind myself that the circumstances of my life, the people I share it with, the like-minded souls I am meeting are all a part of my life’s best journey ~ the one that helps shape and mold me into who I really am. I am here to share and co-create beauty with many people all over the world. We all have a unique blueprint: our own inner beauty. We need to reveal our true colors! We need to declare what makes us happy and joyful, and then surround ourselves with it. We need to mirror our best reflection back into the world.

This is the best time in my life to ask how I feel about getting older. I am truly living my life in the flow with not much resistance anymore. I focus on abundance instead of hardship. I perceive every person I meet, every problem I endure, and every joy as a gift. I am meant to interact with others, for our respective benefits. I welcome change and expect it, as life is not meant to stand still. I am aging with a great attitude, healthy diet, red wine (add the brie and French bread ;), and engaging with people, places, and activities I love to do. My days are sculpted by me to include the things I want to do now, as well as what I need to do. Talk about less stress and more fun! I use only organic coconut oil on my skin, including my face and body. After 3 years of that delicious treatment, I truly look 7 years younger! Ask my kids :)

I have given myself permission to live life on my terms! I fulfilled a lifelong dream of owning my Interior Decorating/Consulting business. I have reconnected with my love of horses, and became the caretaker of about 40 horses! I stated out loud that I would meet my daughter overseas in England after her summer study abroad, and I made it happen. That was so empowering! Sharing time with my daughter in England, Ireland, and Wales, and meeting new friends was exhilarating. That was probably the best 21 days I have ever experienced.

My greatest words of wisdom for everyone to remember:

“This is the day that God made, be happy and rejoice in it.”

This is the real deal. This one day. Live it fully.

Above all else, be grateful. Be open to receiving.

Love yourself first. Treat those you love even better.

To keep the stress levels low, look up.

To remember where your feet are, look down. Be present!

To find your your path, ask your Creator.


Marci thank you. My favorite line of yours is "We need to declare what makes us happy and joyful, and then surround ourselves with it."

A great recipe for a content life.
XO