And So It Comes

My mama turned ninety recently. It's amazing to me that she is this old. I would be surprised if I didn't know her. Sometimes I still think of her as I did when I was six and she was just forty-five. Always the calm provider for her large flock. Ironing in the afternoon sunlight as I came through the door from grammar school, looking for an afternoon snack. Homemaker extraordinaire.


Toasting her on her birthday.

She is standing strong still. Almost always optimistic, and welcoming, and steady. So level headed and reassuring. With a warmth that to me is unexplainable. Somehow when I was young I made a connection between her and Pillsbury pop and fresh dough. You might remember the tube that you tapped on the edge of the counter and out popped ten little sweet smelling rolls, ready for the warm oven.

Strange, I know!

Mom and her friend at the party.

Since my Dad died, almost eleven years ago, she has marched on. Bringing us all forward. The threads of his life interwoven in her life still, and ours. Sometimes I feel that she is all that we have left of him.

And I know that from here, that if she is fortunate, she will grow older and older. Perhaps she will reflect and re-experience the beauty of her life as her days grow slower. I say this because I have experienced it with someone else before.

And luckily for me, I will be her gate keeper. I will be holding her hand.

I will be her protector now, and her provider, seeing her through to the end.

Aging Gracefully with Sustainability

Jane at her 60th birthday party

This week's beauty is Jane Weeks who is 63 years old. Jane is an environmentalist and lives in Gore's Landing, Ontario. She is the owner of a store called Smallbones, where she sells her hand-made pure beeswax candles, organic soap, natural perfumes, lip balms, and eco-friendly gifts. All of Jane's great products are also available online.

I bring you Jane:

"Wisdom comes with age...

...I guess I'm not old enough yet! I think that perhaps the phrase confuses wisdom with plain, old life experience. At 63 I have plenty of that, but wisdom? 

My old Doubleday Dictionary defines wisdom as: 1. The ability to discern what is true or right and to make sound judgments based on such discernment. 2. Insight or intuition. 3. Common sense. 4. A high degree of knowledge; learning. 5. An accumulated body of knowledge, as in philosophy, science, etc.

I'd probably get a passing mark for #1. I'm not bad at #2, and #3 I think I have in spades! I'd not get high grades for #4 or #5.  The first three definitions come from experience; the last two from learning/education. I think I'm a tad wiser than I used to be in that I wouldn't repeat a past mistake, but there again, I wouldn't have known to not repeat it if I hadn't experienced it in the first place — insight and common sense both!

“Leap, and the net will appear.” Experience gives us the confidence to believe in ourselves, to not second guess ourselves or needlessly heed others’ opinions. I think I need to experience a lot more, though, to be a truly wise, old woman, and I'm looking forward to it. I’ve always worked where my heart is, the not-for-profit sector (no benefits or pension plans); now I have Smallbones, a risky experiment in which I have pride. My motto is "Simple, Sustainable & Natural"! In a couple of years I’ll retire, I hope, and have the time and energy (fingers crossed) to spend the next phase enjoying and experimenting with my simple life. The scent of freedom is enticing! 

Allow me to share some of the things that are different since I turned 60 (an age, BTW, that came as a complete shock!). Letting go: hair colour and style, fashion, makeup — no more hair dye, I don't care that I'm wearing my 25 year old coat;  it's bright and cheerful and warm. What am I going to do when I grow up? It's a little late to be worrying about that now; life went ahead, regardless. Stewing over past hurts/losses/mistakes: the hurts and mistakes are mostly ancient history now; the losses still hurt, but they're a little easier to accept.

The worst thing about aging? How fast the years go by and how few are left. The last 20 years have flown past and 20 years ahead I'll be 83! Wonder if I’ll be wise by then? "



Thank you Jane. I love what you are doing.

Love is Art

One of my favorite sites, Daily Grommet, for all things new and exciting, recently featured a creative, outside-the-box-way to celebrate Valentine's Day, or any day. If you happen to be looking for a creative way to spice things up, the Jeremy Brown painting kits (below) put a sexy spin on couples’art. For those adventurous partners who give it a try, Jeremy’s body-painting technique is said to be a liberating, expressive, and beautiful way to create art together.

Oh baby...

Not sure I could comfortably put this on my wall if people knew what it actually was.

Seems so personal...as in...what body part made that little paint splat right there?

Hmmmm.

On another note, if you desire to spruce up your kissing technique, on this day of love, be sure to see last year's Valentine's Day post.

But perhaps what most of us just need to celebrate today with is a simple, wonderful six second hug.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Aging Gracefully in her Studio

This week's beauty is artist Liz Smith who is the creator of  Made in Lowell. Liz is a fellow lover of felted wool whom I met several years ago at the Sowa Holiday Market in Boston. Since then she has been featured on Martha Stewart with her polymer clay eggs and is creating  all sorts of things wonderful in her Etsy shop.

"I’m 42, turning 43 this year. My husband and I are both the youngest kids in our families with siblings much older than us. He’s the only other person I ever met with the same family structure as mine; 4 kids with 3 bunched together in age and one 7 or 8 years later. We were surprise babies for our parents. It was like being only children, with siblings. We grew up accustomed to being around older people. Our parents were often the age of our peers’ grandparents. I feel like this made me more attuned to the aging process, made older people less “other”.

Sometimes I feel alone in that I didn’t love being young, I think I exhaled when I reached 30. Not that I’m in a hurry to get through life, I cherish every moment. But I adore being an adult! I feel autonomous and in charge of my life, well, as much as anyone is. It’s such a contrast to the chaos I felt right through my childhood and into my twenties. I notice it every day and it feels like freedom.

I do notice that I have been inculcated with society’s youth obsession and sometimes find myself chagrined at the draping of my neck skin, the softening of my face. I am determined to fight these feelings as I believe they are false instincts, that I am brainwashed by advertising. No better proof of this is that I don’t have these thoughts about anyone else! Someone else's soft, wrinkled skin is a sweet indication of experience and wisdom.

I interact with the public a lot when I vend at craft shows. I make it a point to thoughtfully acknowledge and listen to anyone I think might have become invisible in society due to her age. It’s a small thing but I hope it helps.

If we are lucky, we grow old. I hope to be very, very lucky."

Thank you Liz for being this week's beauty. 

P.S.I love this picture of your adorable parents.

The Beauty of Being Alone

I am an extrovert who really enjoys being alone. Maybe this is partly due to having grown up as the youngest of five children with an eight year gap between myself and my next oldest sibling. From age ten and on I grew up as an only child.

I used to play cat's cradle all by myself with my fingers and toes.

And I learned to play both parts of the chopsticks duet simultaneously on the piano.

I busied my days with cooking and baking recipes from the Betty Crocker cookbook for kids, creating ornate doll houses out of big cardboard boxes, and learning how to knit and crochet. This was all before puberty hit, when kids tend to grow away from doing what they love.

To this day, I love to go to the movies solo, go on runs all by myself, and do errands alone.

I've learned, from observing my mom grow older, that enjoying time alone can come in very handy as life moves along, as we work less, and as friends pass away.

When we can enjoy being alone, the time to ourselves is rejuvenating.

I think the above clip is very inspiring.

I hope you do too.
XO, Louise

Thank you to Kathryn Feigal for letting me borrow it.

Aging Gracefully by Tapping In

This week's beauty is opera singer, massage therapist, poet, and home renovator Kathryn Feigal who is 63 years old.

"Most of my life I have had the unfortunate anxiety-producing combination of No Impulse Control and Caring Too Much What Other People Think. As you can imagine, this has created a perpetual cycle of regret. Now that I’m three months shy of 64, I’m somewhat dismayed to admit that I still struggle to preserve or maintain what's left of my imagined dignity. In confronting a society given over to a collective identification with frenzy, I’m less inclined to adapt to the illusions that society promotes. Maybe we all have a degree of Tourette's Syndrome with its accompanying rapping, hip-hopping bumbledom of multitasking to fulfill spurious requirements for living.

One of my favorite movie moments was the department store scene in The Women where Annette Bening, when assaulted by a department store cosmetic hawker said, "This is my face. Deal with it." Like Annette’s character, I think if I can avoid the temptations of the eternal youth marketers, the sellers of unnatural thinness and cosmetic surgery, I may be able to tap into who I really am.

Kathryn in flight

At this stage in life, this sentence keeps running through my head, “How do I want to live the rest of my life?” There’s an urgency that wasn’t there before. Joan Baez said, “You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live. Now.”

In taking care of my mother the last years of her life, I witnessed her inability to confront her fear of dying. She truly raged against the dying of the light. I know that I want to die consciously. I want to be fully alive when I die. I want to have lived my dreams.

I feel more propelled to condensed action since 3 close friends have died in the last couple of months. One of them lived a big portion of her life trying to please other people – doing things she really didn’t want to be doing. I now get it at a level that I never have before that I need to live my own life.  To punctuate this vow, I took a running, jumping, flying leap off a mountain last summer. 

I’m viewing my own personal process of aging as a series of leaps into future possibilities that I’m igniting with gusto. I’m realistic about the fantasies I recognize as unattainable and I’m able to release them. Lately I’ve been going through my house throwing away items that don’t fit in with my goal of producing and performing my One Woman Show.  It’s symbolic of the balancing force behind the things I’ve given up by aging. I don't need to fill the spaces I've cleared in my house. Now I have room in my head and heart for laser-beam clarity into my future artistic expressions.

Here's wishing you the same,

Kass"

Thank you m'dear.

You can enjoy Kathryn's poetry here as well as her neat site Redoing The Undone.

The Conversation of Life

This past weekend Mr.Fix-it and I went up to the little bungalow that we are renovating and putting on the market this spring. It's a waterfront property on beautiful Pleasant Lake in Deerfield, NH, just over an hour's drive from our home. A disgusting mess when we bought it eighteen months ago, it is now a gem, which I will be very sad to see it go when it sells.

Saturday evening greeted us with a star-speckled sky and after a night of camping out in the middle of our construction site, we awoke on Sunday to another sparkling January day. While Mr. Fix-it got right to work on installing the kitchen, I headed off to my favorite new breakfast spot called the Northwood Diner, just five miles down the road. The folks who own it and work there are so chilled-out and friendly that it made me consider moving to this neck of the woods.

Back at the house I busied myself upstairs with filling nail holes with putty, and scraping old paint and gunk off the windows with a razor blade. What is it about mindless, repetitive tasks that I like so much? I remember hearing actress Jodie Foster comment on this years ago- about how such tasks are so satisfying to her. Somehow I find such peace when I am doing home renovations. It's kind of like knitting is for me, actually.  I find it gratifying and rewarding to fix, or produce, something physical.

I realize, however, that it certainly isn't this way for everyone!

As I worked away, I got to thinking about what else I really love. Thankfully we get clearer on this the older we grow. I think that discovering what we really love is a big part of what life is all about, actually.  Zeroing in on what really rings our bell.

The other thing that I thought about was how much I love conversations about life. I think this is why I like reading blogs so much. I'm curious, and feel enriched to hear people's thoughts about life, and daily living. About making the pieces come together. About creating happiness around us. Sometimes it's the really small stuff- like what neat combination of ingredients went into a burrito- to the much broader, and bigger, and deeper conversations about figuring ourselves out, and the world that surrounds us.

So that's my weekend in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll have more updates as the project winds down and comes to a close.




Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life. ~Marcus Aurelius

Aging Gracefully with Writing

This week's beauty is Kathryn Magendie who is 54 years old. Aside from being an author, and Publishing Editor of Rose & Thorn Journal, Kathryn has written four books, with her fifth due out this spring.

Kathryn also has a great blog where I found this wonderful piece of hers on aging:


"I flip through a magazine and realize it’s no longer strange to see clever ads for Botox and plastic surgery, the ones that make the decision seem a smart and savvy one for the up and coming woman of distinction. Why are we so hooked on “Beauty” and who started all this madness?

Well, let’s see. In ancient Babylon, not only the women but also the men wore eye shadow and eyeliner, darkened their lashes, curled their hair, and used henna for nail color. Ancient Grecian woman used crushed berries for blush on their cheeks, and wore fake eyebrows made of ox’s hair. The Egyptians slathered blue paint to show off their veins. Those girly Roman women made facial masks out of flowers, honey, wheat, and eggs; hey, that’s not so bad! But Medieval women applied bat’s blood to their faces (good god), while both men and women used pumice stones to rub their teeth (ouch). Beginning with the sixteenth century, women applied white lead to their faces so they could look “pale” (lord help them) and used lye to lighten their hair, which then fell out so that wigs had to be worn to cover the patchy hair/scalp results.



I study my image in the mirror and try not to be so demanding of my face and body—and yes, I’ll apply a little make-up, some moisturizers, zap a little razz-a-ma-taz to the face and hair, work out with weights and do yoga and aerobic activity, watch what I eat. But really, I’m not so bad, am I? A 54 year-old woman who takes care of herself and does not want scalpels or needles plunged into her skin in the name of what some may call Beauty and “Ever-lasting” Youth. I do see the wonders of medical/dermatological sciences so that we can feel better about ourselves, but where does it all end? How far are we willing to go to Deny what is inevitable? We are going to age. Things will happen. When we Over-Youth-a-fy, we lose something of Ourselves, don’t we? The character of ourselves? That which sets us apart and makes us uniquely us? That which makes us interesting. When I look at your faces, I am excited, for I respectfully and happily write about you, the parts of you that show me who you are and where you have been, and the life you have lived. I celebrate you and all your Self.

So when you see me, you’ll see a woman who is her age. Who takes care of herself. But what you won’t see is a woman who is ashamed of who she is at the age she is, for I’m rather tired of being told I should be ashamed and to Do Something About It"

Thank you Kathryn for being this week's beauty.

.

Pack My Suitcase (PMS)

My friend Monica Rodgers, co-founder of The Revelation Project, and single mommy blogger at Alone in the Childerness (like camping; only much more terrifying), posted this the other day and I just had to share it with you.

Talk about a story that everyone can relate to! Even post-menopausal me who is delighted to have finally crossed over.

It totally tickled my funny bone:


When am I going to learn that PMS means:

PACK. MY. SUITCASE.

  

But No.

 

No.

 

Instead it’s like the reoccurring mysterious behavioral phenomenon every month and when it finally arrives I’m all:

"Ooooooh so Thhhhhats why I was such a psycho last week!"

(insert mortified remorse as I flash back to the week in detail… oh, those poor poor people.)

 

Ok so seriously?  You’d think I’d have a routine down here- you know- every month for the past 28 years like clock work (except for 2-3 of those years when i was pregnant/nursing)   You think maybe i’d have a plan in place to deal with the “situation”- you know, in case it should arise.  

NO

Nope


Instead,  I use the week before to simply wonder if perhaps I might be going crazy….  ?

I use the time to be completely reactionary and practice new and more creative ways of losing my grip.

RE action ZONE. Proceed with extreme caution.

Common scenarios and thoughts (one might refer to as clues) that cycle through my head the week before:

“Wow,  I wonder why I am soooo hungry today?- I feel like I could just eat the entire house” (Run kids run for your lives before you get eaten toooo!)

 

“No one appreciates me – I’m outta here!” (I could just pack my bags right now and leave!- that would show them!)

“I’m soooo tired and I think i need to take a….. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz”  ”just putting the kids to bed honeyZzzzzzz”

 

 

“I am NOT being irrational! I’m NOT! It was MY box of Nutter Butters! MINE!- you hear me?!!”

“Did she just cut me off?  Dirty Whore!!!”

 

 

"WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH… that commercial is so. so. sad.- it just gets me every time!”

“Are you done with that doughnut?”

 

 

“I have such a headache- it’s like a migrane – I wonder if i am coming down with something?” (taking my temperature every 20 minutes)

“I love you”

“I HATE you!”

 

TURN DOWN THE MUSIC! Is everyone DEAF?

 
Don’t look at me in that TONE!!!!


So… there are in fact a few red flags you know?  but no, every month there is like a big surprise party to mark it’s murderous arrival.


Wait!


Why am I bleeding? !!!!


Oh, is it already that time of month?

Aging Gracefully with Creativity

This week's beauty is Jane Skoch who is 49 years old. Jane is a former chemical engineer, mother of four, crafter, and the creator of Maiden Jane, which is her creative line of practical, yet pretty, accessories and housewares.

Jane has this to say about aging gracefully:

My first thoughts on aging are about acceptance:  the grey hairs, the lumpy body, and the aches and pains. But aging gracefully is about so much more than that.  It is about the acceptance of who I am.

As a young girl it was easy to compare myself to people around me.  I wanted to be outgoing, thin, beautiful, and wear nice clothes. In my mind, whatever I was - was never good enough. There was always someone who could play the piano or speak publicly better than me.

  

Attending an all-girls high school and working a variety of jobs, I slowly pulled myself out of the shy shell in which I lived.  I gained confidence in myself and my abilities, developed a love of learning and excelled in the classroom.  I became the “best” in my class only to quickly realize I was just like a lot of my college friends.

The evolution of education to career was challenging academically, but more so in the big picture of life.  I was unsure that I had selected the right field, unsure if I would like it, unsure if I could handle it.  I had hoped for a family some day but didn’t even have a boyfriend.  Getting my first “C” helped me.  It forced me to stop and think about my career choice. I realized that I would have many careers in my lifetime. 

That “C” in my junior year in college was the point where I feel I began to age gracefully.  I realized that life is a journey and I needed to embrace the experiences in that journey – not simply worry about the end points. I plowed forward in my major, took on the first job, and learned some things that I liked and some that I didn’t.  A husband and children followed as did a new part of the journey.

Motherhood, frightening at first, helped me become stronger.  I discovered the nurturer and the advocate inside of me.  I also discovered that I needed other people more than ever, especially my family and my parents. Beyond need, I also developed a heightened appreciation for family and friends.  There is nothing more important to me than being surrounded by the people I love and to cherish the time with them.

I have learned that I have opinions and I am not afraid to express them (unlike the shy little girl that I was.) I have learned that even though I have opinions, to be kind is always the most important thing to be.  I have learned that a few grey hairs and wrinkles around the eyes hide a history of worries and laughs and tears.  I have learned that a smile is the most beautiful part of anyone’s face.  I have learned that doubts may still creep in, but I know me – I accept me – I like me.

It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey, in the end, that matters. ~ Ursula LeGuin

You can find Maiden Jane on Etsy.

Jane also has a neat blog.

Thank you Jane for being this week's beauty.

Ninety-Five Going on Forty

Brooklyn artist and film maker, Julia Warr, met 95-year-old Russian ballet dancer, Maia Helles on a plane four years ago. Noticing that Maia was as fit and healthy as a forty year old, it convinced Julia of the benefits of the daily exercise routine that Maia perfected, with her mother, more than 60 years ago. Way before exercise classes were ever invented of course!

What is very limber, 95-year-old Maia's secret to long life you may be wondering?

Simplicity, work, and enjoyment.

Julia's above video, My Friend Maia, has gone viral. With only 38 hits on January 10th, it understandably received 3,637 yesterday.

Enjoy this very calming, beautiful clip.
Shot in Fire Island, NY


Many thanks to Carolyn for sending it in.

Aging Gracefully with Abundance

This week's beauty is the wonderful author Dorothy Hoffman Sander who is 60-years-old. Aside from having written two books, Dorothy also has a lovely blog called Aging Abundantly, where writes about making the very most out of the second half of life.

Dorothy has this to share about growing older:

Being Older and Wiser is the Icing on the Cake of Life

I know I am not the only one who has said repeatedly in recent years, “Gosh, I wish I knew that twenty years ago!”…or ten years ago, or five, or even yesterday! As we move into our later years it’s easy to bemoan not only our aging body, but that everything we learned getting to this point would have served us better in our youth…or so we believe.


Living all these years has also given us a wonderful opportunity. Our many years of  making mistakes, wrong choices, wrong actions, wrong thinking has allowed us to amass a whole lot of learning and experience.  In fact, we know so much now that we might even be considered “wise”.  One can only be truly be wise by having tried and failed, loved and lost  many, many times and consequently, be old! So, we should put aside our regrets and grab hold of the gift of wisdom and get busy living our todays.

Being older and wiser is the icing on the cake of life. It is our comfort food to savor and enjoy and it will be our companion for the remainder of our days. It is, in fact, a gift that will keep on giving and growing as long as we choose to live life to the fullest.

We get to know a thing or two about life…to have a few answers, to have a better idea of what it takes to be happy and fulfilled. I just think that awareness might just be worth a few wrinkles, sagging boobs and gray hair. Besides, creases around the eyes enhance our eyes, our soft bodies delight and comfort our grand babies, and our gray hair makes us look like queens. We’ve graduated from our jobs as princesses. Now, we not only have beauty, we have the power of wisdom.

Thank you Dorothy!

You can find Aging Abundantly on Facebook.

Flipping the Switch

Several years ago my husband, Tom, explained to me that in everything we do we are either trying to gain pleasure or avoid pain.

Hmmm... I thought. Could this be?

He was probably on to something but I had to think about it.

I began noticing what he said was true.

Soon after I had a dentist appointment, which over the years, I had grown to dread. After having had several root canals, I hated going even for a cleaning.

I felt trapped in the dentist's chair, pinned down even, with sweaty hands, a pounding heart, at their mercy, with my mouth gaping wide open.

I couldn't wait until it was over.

It was a painful situation.

So I started to think about how I could gain pleasure from going to the dentist. It didn't seem possible but what I finally came up with was that I began to look at it as a spa experience.

Oh yeah baby.

Suddenly, instead of being in a torture chamber I was in the lap of luxury.  Flat on my back, relaxing. Cleanings became little enjoyable massages for my mouth. Someone was lovingly taking care of me, instead of putting me through miserable agony. 

The change was like flipping a switch.

The pleasure switch.

So next time you are experiencing something painful

look. for. the switch.

and hopefully

you will find

some

pleasure.

Beauties of the Week

Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication.
~Leonardo da Vinci


I always think that gray haired women and men are so stunning.
A gray haired wanna-be, I remain.

(To enlarge collage simply click on it)


For previous posts on going gray click here and here.


Have a nice weekend, dear readers of mine,
Louise

Focusing In

New year's resolutions are usually attempts to take better care of ourselves, and in truth, love ourselves more. Be it emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually.

From experience I know that I take much better care of everything in my life when I'm greedy enough to take care of myself first.

We are all much happier, I think, when we take the time to do this.

To put this to the test- next time you feel unhappy- notice what you are unhappy about. It is likely going to be, at least in part, about not taking good care of your "self".

Personally, I think it should be point #1 in the course of Personal Management 101, not to mention in aging gracefully.

So why is it so hard for so many people to focus in and put themselves first?

It may be in part because many people avoid change and the unwelcome emotions that come with it, explains an article in Fortune about why new year's resolutions are so hard to keep.

For instance, losing weight successfully -and long term- is not usually attainable if we don't pull up the veil and deal with why we overeat and stop reaching for the solace of food when we aren't hungry.

My friend Aldra at Consciously Frugal wrote a great post last week on compulsive behavior, if you are interested.

Also, if your goal this year is about exercising more, especially in the pool, Women Magazine is featuring an article about yours truly called Swimming Spirit. Among other things, it has tips for getting started with swimming.

Aside from eating well and exercising, I thought I'd mention a few other new years resolutions that might ring a bell with many of you. I know they do with me:

• Stop being consumed by things we cannot control. 
• Stop worrying: so much of our stress comes from impending disasters that never happen or worrying about things that really don't matter.
• Stop freaking out about the economy.
• Stop saying "yes" when we want to say "no". A good way to do this, if it is hard for you, is to say that you need to think about it first, and then circle back around to the person with your answer.
• Stop worrying about where we will be in 5 or 10 years. Think about what we want to do and less about what we want to be.

If we are doing what we want, than chances are that we will be where we want to be.

Photo by Orlando Pinto, Portugal

Happy New Year

I am not big on celebrating New Years. I would just like to dance tonight, with a 40+ crowd preferably, which might be a hard thing to find outside our living room window.

For me the best thing about New Years is that I have eleven wonderful months until the hectic holidays roll around again. Still, every time I hear Auld Lang Syne it touches me, especially since hearing this incredibly delicious recording by Scottish singer Mairi Campbell on Sex and the City.

Auld Lang Syne is a Scottish poem that was written by Robert Burns in 1788 and set to the tune of a traditional folk song. The words 'Auld Lang Syne' literally translates from old Scottish dialect meaning 'Old Long Ago' and is about love and friendship in times past. The lyrics 'We'll take a Cup of Kindness yet' relate to a drink shared by men and women to symbolize friendship.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.


So on this note I wish you all a good New Year.

Best wishes to you for health, happiness, and enjoying life in 2012,

Louise

She'll Be There

So who is on the inside?

Because that's the girl you have to fall in love with.

She'll be there, regardless of your looks, or your age, or your physical abilities, until the day you die.

To search for something more is to chase something we'll never catch.

By Elizabeth Davies




To know how to grow old is the master-work of wisdom and the one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. 

By Henri Frederic Amiel


Photo by Tree Faerie, Australia

Aging Gracefully with Enjoyment

This week's beauty is Bonnie Matheson who is about to turn 70. She is the author of Ahead of the Curve, which is an intimate conversation with women in the second half of life. Bonnie has a story to tell, and all sorts of steps for her audience to take towards a more enjoyable, fulfilling life. I look forward to reading her book.

In addition, Bonnie is a health and wellness coach, motivational speaker, mother, and grandmother. She was the executive director of the Institute for New Medicine at Georgetown University Medical Center and eighteen years ago became a doula. That was about the same time she caught her own grandchild in her hands when her daughter came home to have her baby. Several years later she started a website for women with information about pregnancy and birth called Childbirth Solutions.  To this day Bonnie strives to work towards better, more empowering births for women worldwide.

Bonnie says she is enjoying her “second fifty years” immensely and has this to share about growing older:

As I reached the age of 50 I began to think about how much I had accomplished in the first 50 years of my life. It turned out to be quite a lot. School, marriage, 5 children, real estate career and childbirth advocate, daughter, sister friend and volunteer as well as student of life. I decided right then that no matter how long it took I would go back to school to earn a BA and eventually maybe find time for a Ph D. It dawned on me that the years would pass whether I was in school or not, so why not just go and accomplish this goal. And I did it. Later I divorced amicably, started yet another career as a health coach and writer. The point is this. It is NEVER too late to change your life. We can remain young at heart, juicy, and healthy far into our 90s. My mother is 93 and going strong. She is happy and she is pretty. You can choose the way you age by choosing your attitude. This is entirely within your power to do starting right now. 

 I will be 70 in January and feel that I have many years ahead to do more of what I love. Even if something were to happen to me prematurely I FEEL as if I have a lot of time. And that is the important thing. Feeling good about aging and not letting it become a discouragement is key to enjoying every day.

Thank you Bonnie for being this week's beauty.

I love what you have to say on this video:

Coming Around Again

Like many of you probably, I always feel a little overwhelmed this time of year with all the holiday hoopla. I have whittled my gift giving list way down, and I don't put nearly as much energy into holidays as I once did, but still...it's busy and crazy, nevertheless, with everyone arriving so soon for Christmas.

I yi yi...

Truth be told- as much as I enjoy being together with everyone, I love the month of January when it is all behind us for another year. 

I often feel in January, like I do after winter's thaw in March, that I can relish the many carefree months ahead, before things get zany again.

Last summer my camera got dropped down the stairs and I have yet to repair it. I'm still in a quandary whether to pay the $180 to fix it, or just get a new one, so unfortunately, I don't have a single holiday photo to share. As you can imagine, a blogger without a camera is kind of like a cook without a Cuisinart, or a seamstress without a seam ripper. The good news is that I can at least recycle last year's photos of Christmas if you happened to have missed them.

My favorite thing about holiday gatherings is when dinner is all ready, and we pause, and take a minute to be silent, to give thanks. 

When the kids were young I made up a simple grace to say each night before dinner. It goes like this:

Let us be thankful for all that we have-

for our home,

and our health,

but especially, 

for each other.

Each day is a blessing.

Amen.


I hope you all drive safely, have fun,
and are able to be with someone you love.
(and get more sleep than I am getting)
XO, Louise

Blue spruce photo by Aleksandr Kutsayev.
Pine cone photo by  Rachel Kirk, Grand Valley, Ontario

Aging Gracefully with Enthusiasm

This week's beauty is Brazilian born Gigi Schilling who is 53-years-old. When Gigi wrote me she said, "My English is not so good but my words are from the heart."

If you ask me, that's all that matters!

I bring you Gigi:

My name is Gigi Schilling, Brazilian by birth but a nomad by nature. I am the Mother-in-Wonder of Alexander the Great-est (he is 14). For the past 18 years I have owned a distribution company of imported beauty & hair care products in Brazil that sells to salons and retail. Currently I live in Miami, but I lived in New York City for 10 years in the 80s, amongst many other cities.

In March 2010 I founded a group on Facebook named Over Fifty & Irresistible (OFI) because LIFE is irresistible regardless of its sorrows. OFI is all about Ageless Philosophy for Men and Women.

I was inspired by the PARADOX I observed on people not embracing their 50's ~ One is too YOUNG to die at 50 - yet - too OLD to live being 50. I also believe that at 50 and beyond the reflection is from within and the mirror no longer matters.

At 53 years of age I am thankful and I truly celebrate being ALIVE in every sense of the way... it's as simple and as profound as that.

I love quotes and I have created over 100 of them all about being Over 50... they are either funny or profound... so here is the first one: Keep on Fifty-ing... that is the new Vibe!

Stay tuned for my Over Fifty and Irresistible website that will go live in March.


Thank you Gigi for being this week's beauty, beauty.

Money, Money, Money

I thought as we promenade head-on into the holidays I would share this neat clip that I found on Consciously Frugal about the new American dream. It's beautifully illustrated, which is helpful for any of you attention deficit, visual learners, like myself.

Every day we are bombarded with gazillions of messages telling us that the good life is attainable by making lots of money and spending it on things that claim to make us feel happy, loved, and good about ourselves...

Unfortunately this can come at a high price for our well being, as well as for the earth's.

As the clip explains, research consistently shows that the more materialistic people are the lower their happiness is. Strong materialistic values also effect our social relationships and effect other people's well being. As materialistic values go up, social values tend to go down. When people have money on their minds they are less likely to be generous, cooperative, and care about the environment.

We tend to focus more on material things when we feel insecure.

Luckily, we can begin to diminish the power of  materialism by doing a few simple things:

• The next time we have a blow to our self esteem, we can circumvent going out and being a consumer by stopping to enjoy people, nature, or being creative instead. A good question to ask ourselves is "Do I really need this, or do I just want it?"

• The more that people are exposed to the media the more they prioritize materialistic values. It's helpful to hit the mute button when ads come on TV.

• It's also helpful to pay more attention to intrinsic values such as growing as a person, being close to people, finding meaningful work, volunteering, and improving the world. As intrinsic values go up, materialistic values go down.

So this holiday season think about giving a gift that doesn't cost a thing. Imagine that. Perhaps it's simply being 100% agreeable for an entire day. Imagine that! Maybe it's running errands for an elderly neighbor or checking in on a friend who is lonely. Maybe it's the gift of sex (did I just say that?), or being the designated driver on New Year's Eve. 

Or maybe it's one of these 17 other ideas in this little slide show, that don't cost a cent :-)


Photo by David Castillo Dominici.

Aging Gracefully With The Truth

This week's beauty is Connie Banford who is 61-years-old. Connie and I grew up in the same neck of the woods along the lower end of the Niagara River in New York. She is a certified internet marketing consultant and heads-up her own company Banford Enterprises. They provide an all-in one marketing platform that combines Video Email, Webinar/Webcasts, Mobile Marketing, Email Marketing, Lead Capture, and Social Media into one easy to use system that allows companies to dramatically enhance their bottom-line sales all while personalizing their approach to clients.

Banford Enterprises also offers Customized Mobil Apps.

Connie has a blog called Now What If and has this to share about growing older: 

As each year approaches more quickly than the last, I have come to realize that there are certain things that simply keep one young in mind and in spirit. First is mindset and attitude. Each new decade can bring exciting adventures if you look at them as being exciting.  Two people can look at the same gray hair, for example, and have totally different perspectives. One person might think “old” yet the other thinks “beauty,”  and you have a choice in that thinking! Positive thoughts and a positive attitude certainly can be the key to mental, spiritual and physical health.

It’s crucial to exercise and to eat a proper diet, I’ve found. There is still a lot of world yet to explore so you want to be healthy! Whatever the age, people just need to remember not to “sweat that small stuff” because that just contributes to ill-health and stress.

Interestingly, I used to be somewhat reticent to change, but as years pass, I have totally reversed that reluctance. Change can be very difficult, but to embrace it can be invigorating and exciting. Being open to learning new things, learning technology, and keeping up with the world keeps your mind young and alive.  Reading , and continuation of personal development should be continued activities! 

Babies, little people and young adults will keep you in awe of your surroundings. You forget how beautiful a simple flower or butterfly can be but young people show you that beauty once again. They help you remember those exciting “firsts” – the excitement of tying one’s shoes for the first time, riding a bike “with” and then “without” training wheels, and driving a car! Young adults keep your mind and ideas fresh. 

A huge advantage to becoming older is that it has become progressively more apparent that it makes no difference what others think as long as I am true to myself   Life is great and keeps getting better! 

Thank you Connie for joining us on Lines of Beauty. I love what you said about being true to yourself. If there was only one life lesson to be learned, I think this one might be very close to the top of the list.

Shake Your Booty

My mom is turning 90 in January.  Last winter she fell, broke a few bones, and ended up needing a pace maker. She had four hard months of recovery where she couldn't do much. Having been an active woman, this was a big change for her, and there were a few times when I wondered if she was going to be able to snap back. It turns out that she did and is feeling great. I credit this to her being able to exercise again- she is doing Tai Chi and going to Silver Sneakers exercise classes.

Exercise is so important. No one is ever too old to start.

I have this theory that part of the reason people like to smoke is that they love taking a deep breath, which we can get many times over, and much more healthfully, of course, with exercise.

A good friend of mine, who is a therapist, says that the first thing she asks people when they come to her for anxiety and/or depression is if they are exercising.

When we need to heal something in our lives, exercise is the first place to start.

Being fit makes everything in life run more smoothly.

I can't say it enough.

Yesterday Jane Fonda was on the The Today Show. She is now 73, has had a hip and knee replacement, and is out with two new exercise videos for seniors. She had some interesting things to say. She said that exercise is the number one ingredient for successful aging. Having had an eating disorder, she says that people can really get over food addictions. I can attest to this. She explained that she finally decided if she was going to live or die, and to go towards the light. Three times married, she also said that it's hard to find someone who isn't afraid to really show up, be intimate, and be fully present in a relationship, but that in her 70s, she has finally found him :-)

More on exercise in my post Never, Ever Stop Moving.


Yoga photo by Meepoohfoto.

Swimmer photo by Africa.