The Sweet Stuff

There isn’t anything I like more than a chocolate chip cookie, or a sundae, or a decadent brownie. I am one of those people who goes for sweets in a heartbeat. Which is a bit of a problem I’m realizing as growing research is pointing to the many health problems caused by eating too much sugar.

Sugar, among other things, causes inflammation and joint pain. Having learned this I've started to take note of how I feel the morning after going to a party, for instance, where I've had more sugary sweets and wine-which is also high in sugar. What I am finding is that the next morning I ache when I get out of bed- especially my feet. I can also feel the inflammation sometimes in my hips, and my hands when I make a fist.

However, being a proponent of eating what you love- I wouldn’t want to eliminate sugar from my diet entirely. But, I have for the most part, started to eat much smaller quantities of it.  I am even able to keep to a “3 bite rule” most of the time. Doing this really helps my joint pain if not all but eliminates it and I have to say that it’s amazing how satisfying three bites of something sweet can be when you know it’s all you are going to eat of it.

Anyway, I am here to say that in terms of aging gracefully, sugar is nasty stuff.  The more you eat it, the more your body craves it, and the stiffer you are probably going to feel. 

So, if you want to feel like a rusty old bike...

Eat lots of sugar :-)

 Photo by Justin Johnson
www.justinjohnson.com

Aging Gracefully with Everything She Likes

This week’s Beauty of the Week is Annie Oakes.  Annie is the owner of the very fabulous vintage store Everything Annie Likes on Webster Street in North Tonawanda, NY.  Filled with an array of great clothes, accessories, and housewares, the store is as fun as Annie is.

Here is what Annie has to say about growing older:

• Try new things.  I opened this store and had no idea what I was getting into.  So what?  Jump in.  A good part of aging is being less embarrassed about not knowing something or about feeling foolish.  I ran for office and had no idea what I was doing.  Scary - way out of my comfort zone.  Being out of your comfort zone regularly is definitely a good idea.

• It's maybe the biggest cliche, but being physically active is very important.  When I'm walking, bicycling and  kayaking often, I'm better in spirit.  I often don't feel like exercising but it's well worth the effort.  Sometimes when a group gets together there is too much bitching about our maladies.  Let's assume we all have them and maybe just not talk about them!

• Lately I've had more young people in my life.  I don't have children and haven't had much interest in youger people until now.  Whether it's a developmental time for me or just that they are nearer to me I like it.  I am the cool aunt (or older person) in their lives.  I feel protective and instructive.  

• I am 56. Life is good.  I don't care if I look my age, I just don't want to look older than my age.  I don't have many regrets, and I don't want to.  I think this requires saying yes to lots of things.

Thanks Annie and best of luck with Everything Annie Likes.

Uncover Your Natural Glow

Did you know that about once a month our bodies shed a layer of skin? Aging skin especially needs to be buffed and refreshed on a regular basis to revive it’s healthy glow. You’ve probably looked down at your legs from time to time and noticed that they can look dry. All they need is to be rubbed with a towel after a bath or shower to eliminate the old skin and recapture their shine.

This may be old news to many of you, but the same goes for our faces. If we don’t exfoliate the dry skin on our face, it looks dull and ashen. Dry skin dulls our complexion and exfoliating allows our freshest, most radiant skin to shine through. Kind of like buffing an apple! I learned this trick many years ago in an article that interviewed model Christie Brinkley about her love of exfoliating.

To remove old cells on our face and body is easy. And we don’t need to get fancy and spend a gazillion dollars. I usually do it in the shower every few weeks with a facecloth and a bit of soap. You can also use a soft loofah and a homemade salt rub. I’ve even heard you can use leftover coffee grounds ( ooh... ick? )

Remember that if you can’t pronounce what it is in a store bought exfoliator then you probably don’t want it on your skin.

Here is a great natural exfoliator that you can easily make at home:

1/8 cup of olive oil and a heaping tablespoon of fine sea salt. You can also use honey and a bit of water instead of olive oil. Another good combination is almond oil and sugar.

Have fun uncovering your natural glow my beauties :-)

Aging Gracefully with Modeling

Photo by John W.Hession

This week’s Beauty of the Week is Kirsten Hede-Brierley, who will soon be 47 years old.

Kirsten came to New York in 1985 from Denmark on a 3-week modeling job/exchange between agencies. She didn't plan to stay in the US, but after meeting her American man "Prince Charming" Andrew, she changed her mind. They have now been happily married for 22 years.

Kirsten worked full-time for 7 years as a successful fashion model in New York, Boston, and Denmark. She retired from modeling to have two children. The kids are nearly full-grown: a son in college, and a daughter in high school.
.
In 2006, when the advertising market was ready to feature mature women over the age of 30, Kirsten restarted her modeling career. She signed with 6 modeling agencies, one in each New England state, including Maggie Inc in Boston.

Kirsten has many good thoughts on aging:

Growing up in Denmark, she stressed her parents as being great role models who placed emphasis on having a dependable lifestyle and a daily routine, with healthy food, bedtimes, exercise, and balance in all matters.

Kirsten likes to seek inner peace in a daily break from a busy life by taking a 20-minute afternoon nap, and through spirituality like Anthroposophy/Waldorf School where her kids went to elementary school.

Cassandra Zampini Photography  www.cassandrazampini.com

She strives to enjoy life, to be in the moment, and to try to reach out to old and young in her neighborhood and community. She loves to spend time with new and old friends from all walks of life. Her pets (cats and birds) give unconditional love. Kirsten previously had a nursing home therapy dog, and now has an abused/rescued mutt who needs a lot of love.

Kirsten tries to be aware of the phases in one’s life - not just physical but spiritual as well. Astrology is an added inspiration in her life. Professional Astrologer and friend Eric Linter’s daily forecast "is like checking the weather before you go out."

It’s important to be yourself and be grounded, and have a daily good belly laugh. Don't worry too much over the things we can't change, like aging and getting wrinkles. Keep your soul and spirit fed, and grow by reading, traveling and meeting all kinds of different people in domestic and foreign countries and cultures.

A good marriage is built on love, communication, friendship, and respect. Raising two caring, bright, now nearly "launched" kids, has brought my husband and me much joy and happiness.

In closing, Kirsten shared this poem by Danish poet Piet Hein:

Love
while you've got
love to give.

Live
while you've got
life to live.

Thank you Kirsten and best of luck in your continued success with modeling.

Cry Yourself a River

I’ve always thought that if a movie doesn’t at least bring me to the edge of tears than it usually isn't worth watching, unless of course it's a really good comedy.  Generally I tend to be a bit of a crier, but I have hardly shed a tear lately. I thought I’d hit menopause and cry myself a river but so far this has happened only a handful of times. Which in one way has been a relief…if you know what I mean.  Still, having a good cry always makes me feel better, whether they are tears of sadness or of joy. My hunch is that I need to slow down long enough to cry. But, that’s a subject for another day, dear readers…

I thought I’d check out my favorite doctor, Christiane Northrup’s, take on crying.  In Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom she explains, “Crying is one of the ways in which we rid our bodies of toxins. Crying allows us to move energy around our body and sometimes to rechannel it or understand it a different way.”

I read elsewhere that crying releases harmful toxins and stress hormones. Suppressed emotions can make us feel depressed and need to be released. Crying is one of the healthiest ways to do this and it helps keep depression at bay. Tears lift our mood because they release endorphins (just like exercising, thank heavens) that act as mood elevators and painkillers. That’s why we feel so much better after a good cry. Crying relieves stress and helps calm us, as does laughter. We need both tears and laughter in our lives.

I also found some good quotes about crying:

• To weep is to make less the depth of grief. - William Shakespeare

• The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep.  ~Henry Maudsley

• Time engraves our faces with all the tears we have not shed.  ~Natalie Clifford Barney

• Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.  ~Christian Nevell Bovee

• The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.  ~Isak Dinesen 

And I leave you with this last one:

• Let your tears come.  Let them water your soul.  ~Eileen Mayhew

Aging Gracefully with Honor

This week's Beauty of the Week is Marlou Russell who is a psychologist and marriage and family therapist who specializes in helping people understand the lifelong impact of adoption. Marlou (Margaret Louise) has a private practice in Santa Monica, CA, is a lecturer, and is also the author of the well received book Adoption Wisdom.

Marlou has this to share with us about aging gracefully:

I love being in my 50s! I worry less and appreciate more. I know that listening to my intuition steers me in the right direction, and I trust that life will take me where I need to go.

I love having gray in my hair, not wearing make-up, and wearing flats.

Looking back I can see that my life experiences have melded together to form the person I am, the profession I chose, and the kind of life I am leading.

I have been led to celebrating my age by having wonderful women in my life who embraced their gray, their wrinkles, their foibles, and their wisdom. These amazing people showed me the value of personal stories, the spunkiness in speaking one’s mind, and the connection that occurs when someone listens.

I attempt to honor these women by living my life as they lived theirs – by being in the present moment, staying true to myself, and remembering that a kind deed is not soon forgotten.


Thank you Marlou for your wonderful words of wisdom.

Our Sex Lives and Aging

It's been such a busy summer that I haven’t yet been able to read The Beauty of Aging- A Women’s Guide to Joyful Living but I was able to visit author Angela Paul’s website and was inspired with many things the fifty-five year old author, model, and life coach had to share in her video about growing older. Angela is married to Alan Paul from the forty-year-old band Manhattan Transfer.

Some of Angela's words of wisdom are:

• Don’t get caught up in the media’s perspective of what beauty is suppose to be about. Everything we see is just an illusion.
• Focus on yourself from the inside out.
• Have a good sense of yourself.
• Meditation and silence are very important.
•  And so is sleep. Take time to rest when we're tired.

But here is the best thing which echoes what Christiane Northrup says in Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom:

• Sex is even more important as we age. Sex is key to good health emotionally and mentally, but a good sex life is also very important for us physically even into our 80's.

Good news don't you think?

Great to know that orgasms are right in there with eating well, exercising, and getting a good nights sleep :-)

Be sure to check out Angela’s 50 tips for aging beautifully when you have a minute here.

Aging Gracefully with Random Acts of Kindness

This week’s Beauty of the Week is Martha Corey Fiore who is 49 years old. Martha and I met when we were in junior high. I remember that she was sweet and kind and lived on a farm in a great old house and had several older sisters. My memory was that her life was full of wholesomeness and down-to-earth goodness. We lost touch over the years but it’s great to be reconnected again thanks to Facebook.

Martha has this to share about growing older:

I think I have finally grown into my skin. I like my freckles! They reflect where the sun has kissed my skin and I like my smile lines, they are a reflection of laughter. I like the pink areas on my cheeks; they add natural color. I like my grays; they add highlights to my blonde hair! There was a time when I covered all of the above. I even had some sunspots removed! No more! I celebrate my skin, my face, my body, imperfections and all. I make light of my memory; it's not what it used to be. It's OK, worth a good laugh!

I am a nurturer and love to empower others. I do this in my personal and professional life. I am now nurturing myself. Taking care of ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually is so critical. Love who you are; you can change what you don't like. But only change something for you, not anyone else. We loose ourselves in caring for our families; it's our time now.

Be the first to smile at people. It is contagious; people can't help but smile back and it is such a high.

Kindness and love is like a circle; the more you do for others, the more they want to do for you. The more they do for you, the more you want to do for them. And so the circle goes...

Do something everyday for someone and don't get found out. Just reap the benefits of random acts of kindness. Pay the toll for the person behind you. Imagine their pleasure when they arrive at it, and find someone paid it for them.

Yes, I am comfortable in my skin. It's taken 49 years!

Great words of wisdom Martha.

Thank you sweet aging beauty :-)

It's refreshing to remember...

There are certainly times in all of our lives when we have to be who we aren’t…for instance when we have to deal with new challenges, or step outside the comfort zone of who we have always known ourselves to be.

But in terms of day-to-day living, the older I get, the more I realize that for the most part, we really do only need to be who we are. This is very helpful for me to remember when I wish I was more like someone else- or that I was smarter, or wiser, or better in some way. It is certainly helpful to remember this as we age- as our sight starts to weaken, and our memory loses it's strength, or when we don’t have as much energy as we use to.

In last week's post in the comment section I mentioned that years ago when my kids were young and life was more hectic, I wrote on a piece of paper "If it's okay with me, then don't worry about it." and put it in my wallet as a reminder to stay on course to my true self. It really helped, and I think it is partly what eventually brought me around to: you only have to be who you are.

It’s such a relief don't you think?

Aging Gracefully with Consciousness

This week's Beauty of the Week is Barbara Loure`Gunn.  Barbara is 72-years-old and has a very big heart. Her goal is to inspire others to be the best that they can be by sharing her experiences. She is the mother of three, a grandmother, and a twenty-year cancer survivor. One of her passions is writing her blog Subconscious Messages. She is also the author of the books A Gathering of Spirit, and Wake Up!

Barbara has this to say about aging gracefully:

What keeps me young?

Ignoring the fact that my birth certificate says I’m 72.

Hanging out with souls of all ages, especially the young.

Regular exercise, walking is free.

Eating healthy (mostly), I seldom eat red meat, fried or processed food.

Most important is honesty and a sense of humor.

What motivates me?

Being grateful for the gift of life.

A “conscious “quest to use every opportunity to evolve my soul.

A desire to share my experiences through my published books and inspirational blog.

My three children were born over a 20 year period so I believe I have earned the right to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it.

Barbara you absolutely have!

Thank you so much for being this week's Aging Beauty :-)

Do You Like Growing Old?

Photo by Dora Pete, Hungary

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio.

I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ..... I will.

Photo by Bert Van t'Hul, The Netherlands

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert every single day, if I feel like it.


Author Unknown

Thank you to Laurie for sending this in.

Aging Gracefully with Passion

This week’s Beauty of the Week is the very creative and artistic Susan "B" Zimmerman who was born with the entrepreneurial spirit.  Founder of the successful clothing lines Boxer Rebellion and Only in America, Sue’s latest creation is sueb.do, which is a happy, preppy product line representing the beauty, fun and character of Cape Cod. If you are on the Cape "bee" sure to stop into Sue's great store called sueb.do. It is in Mashpee at the Popponesset Marketplace.

Sue has this to say about growing older and being an entrepreneur:

• I am a very passionate person who has been fortunate to always make a living doing what I love. I don't think of what I do as work. It is what defines me....my creative spirit, my drive to succeed, and my desire to grow and always learn.

• My entrepreneurial experiences have evolved and morph as I have aged.  I love reinventing my business and myself and thrive on constant change and activity.

• Some people think of me as a life coach. I love inspiring, teaching and networking. So many people have helped me along my successful entrepreneurial path that I now have the time and skills to help others and enjoy doing so.

• I have a wonderful husband who has been my friend ever since we met at camp when we were 13.

• I adore Cody, my Cockapoo, and wake up everyday grateful for the wonderful life I have. I have learned to slow down and enjoy my garden, my friends, and the walks in the woods.

• Life isn't a chaotic state like it once was with three children, two of whom are twins. My girls are independent now and I love that! Being a positive role model to them has always been important. I want them to see that I can balance work and home life, and always be there for them.

Thank you Sue for all your entrepreneurial support and encouragement over the years!

sueb.do on Cape Cod

The Beauty of Aging Documentary

Something exciting is happening in the world of embracing aging, instead of dreading it… A wonderful documentary called The Beauty of Aging is currently being made in LA. The Beauty of Aging is the brainchild of documentary filmmaker Laurie Schur who created the idea for the project from her desire to find inspiring role models of aging for women. The one-hour documentary highlights the stories of active, extraordinary women over age 80 who are redefining old age with their zest for life. People over 80 are part of the fastest growing population in America. Through their creativity, sense of purpose, curiosity, and fearlessness, the women in the film show how fulfilling it can be to grow older.

Hedda Bolgar pictured above is just one of the extraordinary women featured in The Beauty of Aging. She keeps herself busy as a psychoanalyst and still sees clients four days a week. Here is the amazing thing though: Hedda will be 101 next month! (I kid you not). She feels that many people are afraid of aging and don’t see the tremendous gains that come along with it. She also said that it’s important to continue to be passionate about whatever it is that interests us, and to stay connected to lots of people.

How’s that for inspiration?

Passion really is huge for a fulfilling life, for all ages.

If you would like to watch a great trailer for Beauty of Aging click here.

Also,  From the Heart Productions, a non-profit sponsor of The Beauty of Aging is seeking donations so that the documentary can be completed for television broadcast and film festivals. From The Heart Productions is dedicated to funding films that are unique and make a contribution to society.

If you'd like to make a donation please click here.

Thanks everyone!

Aging Gracefully with Comedy

This week’s Beauty of the Week is Anita Renfroe. I know, I know! Anita is a musician, comedian, author, and a regular guest on Good Morning America. Anita first caught my attention when she became a YouTube sensation with her comedic rendition  William Tell Momsense. Momsense is about everything a mother typically says to her children in the course of a day.  Recently Anita caught my eye (and heart) again with her latest video Wrinkled Ladies which she suggested be Lines of Beauty's theme song. Absolutely!

What I love most about Anita is that she likes to talk about what most people are hesitant to discuss. She's a woman after my own heart. Anita thank you so much for joining in on the fun and taking time out of your busy schedule to answer a few questions:

Lines of Beauty: Anita what do you like about growing older?

Anita: Aging carries with it a sort of release. It’s somewhat necessary because things do fall away (fall off; fall, period) and we don’t always have the choice of letting things go. So there’s a wonderful sense of freedom that comes with just not caring as much about a LOT of things anymore. There is also enormous wisdom that life has afforded us that begins to coalesce and meander into our default mental state. I think that is a source of true beauty.

Lines of Beauty:  Anita do you have any funny stories to tell about something that has happened to you regarding midlife ?

Anita: Being a comedian I find midlife to be a source of continual comedy material. The fact that you now have control over almost NOTHING is something that you either laugh or cry about. I’m bound by my professional duty to laugh about it and report to others!

Lines of Beauty: Any words of advice, or words of wisdom, about aging gracefully?

Anita: Aging gracefully is for wimps. I think it’s something to run toward and skid in broadside. Sorta like a really great Slip-n-Slide run!

Lines of Beauty:  How old are you?  Don’t feel like you have to answer this...

Anita: I’m 48 years old and proud of every year that God has given me on this earth so I never mind telling my age. And so many of our friends and family have not made it to this age so all I have is gratitude. Besides, I have GRANDBABIES NOW and that IS THE best part of aging – without a doubt.

Lines of Beauty: Anita your beloved Wrinkled Ladies video has quickly become a hit, along with all of your other great videos, and I for one cannot wait to see what you come up with next. Thank you again being our Aging Beauty of the Week :-)


Below is Anita's latest dvd Big Ol' Sweet Ice Tea.

Chebeague Island, Maine

I thought you might like to take a minute to escape to one of my favorite places.

It’s a small island called Chebeague, in Maine’s Casco Bay.

Just north of Portland.

Folks have been enjoying Chebeague's beauty since the mid-1700s.

You can imagine how old and wonderful some of the homes are.

The cars on the island don't need to be inspected,

 so there are some great old cars too.

Chebeague is the home of simplicity, and down-to-earth goodness.

And beauty that stretches as far as the eye can see.

The living is easy....

Island life at dusk.

Chebeague is a lobster & steamed clam lover's oasis.

The view from the porch of the Chebeague Island Inn.

Ooh la la...

As you might have guessed

I found some aging beauties on the island too.

Celebrating Chebeague's endless charm.

                     

This beauty is about to turn 40.

And this one is already 70 if you can believe...

Aging gracefully, one day at a time.

Island joie de vivre.

Just one last picture...

this little wee-guy is only 10 weeks old. 

I could have taken him home.

Happy July everyone.

Aging Gracefully with Generosity

This week’s Aging Beauty is Elizabeth Beech who is 45 years old. She is one of the founding members, and is on the advisory board of, the African Well Fund, which funds much needed water projects in sub-Saharan Africa. As of this posting The African Well Fund has enough votes to win 20k from JP Morgan Chase Community Giving on July 13th but would be very grateful to anyone who would like to vote and continue to secure their spot.

Elizabeth also has a new travel blog called The Life Traveler.

Here is her advice about aging gracefully:

• My motto is - Live greatly. Live generously.

• I sleep about 4-5 hours per night. A 30-minute power nap in the afternoon keeps my energy level up.

• Don't be afraid to look silly - Every Friday at 2pm, regardless of where I'm at, I put on the song Guantanamera. I dance and sing along and try to get everyone around me to do the same.

Elizabeth’s picture was taken while dancing to Guantanamera  in California's wine country.

It's 2:00 PM on Friday here on the east coast so in celebration of Elizabeth, and the 4th of July....I bring you Guantanamera!

Have a lovely long weekend everyone :-)

Do What You're Afraid To Do

Just like this past week’s Aging Beauty, 80 year-old Janey Cutler, likes to take leaps as well.

Janey Cutler, a Glasgow, Scotland mother of seven, recently auditioned for the TV show Britain’s Got Talent. She says that she always loved singing, but initially thought she was much too old for the show.

Then a friend put her up to the audition saying, “Janey, go for it. Better late than never dear.”

So she did.

Above she sings No Regrets.

I love the reactions of the judges. And hers.

Turn up your volume & enjoy.

Thanks to Ellen for sending this in.

Aging Gracefully by Taking Leaps

This week's Aging Beauty is Jules Pieri who is 50 years old. Jules is the founder of Daily Grommet- a cool marketplace for inventive consumer products. Daily Grommet finds really fresh, creative products and tells a story about them, and the person behind them, with a short video clip.  The video gets delivered by email, every weekday around noon. Genius! I always look forward to seeing what great new ideas they have discovered.

I first met Jules when she stopped by The Hole Thing booth at a holiday craft market I was at. I looked at her and said, "Where do I know you from? Wait don't tell me..." After a minute I realized that I had seen her smiling face many times when the Daily Grommet product video arrives in my inbox every weekday at lunchtime. Soon after meeting Jules, the wonderful Daily Grommet team came to visit my studio to film a Grommet about my felted wool line.

Here are Jules's secrets to aging:

• Delusion. I discovered this by accident. Here's what I mean: I happened to put in frosted hand blown Italian sconces in my home bath when I was 33, and never gave a thought to their flattering light. Now I think I look great every morning! But it does make the harsh light in our office bathroom very hard to take.

• Take care of your teeth, skin, muscles, and heart. I use a Grommet on my skin--Elizabeth Coburn Gentle Enzyme Peel--every Sunday night. I've also always been a flosser. For heart and muscles I love the 6AM Boot Camp out on the public soccer field I've been doing for a couple years.

• Taking Leaps. I am not winding down at age 50, I am winding up. Mainly professionally, but I like learning new things like rock climbing and trying things that scare me. Adrenaline must have some anti-aging properties, no?

Thanks Jules, and I hope for continued success with Daily Grommet.

Welcome to the Summer Solstice

Photo by Thiago Martins, Brazil

 

 On the summer solstice ...whatever is dreamed on this night,

           will come to pass ~ William Shakespeare

                                  

   The summer night is like a perfection

     of thought. ~Wallace Stevens

 Deep summer is when laziness

 finds respectability. ~Sam Keen

                                   

   In summer, the song sings itself.
   ~William Carlos Williams

      Summertime...and the living is easy...
       written in 1935 by George Gershwin.

      Sung by Sam Cooke.

                                     
       Happy 1st day of summer everyone :-)

                                                                      

Aging Gracefully with Nurturing

This week’s beauty is Rhonda O’Shea who is 51 years old. Rhonda has five grandchildren, and one on the way, and is the wife of one of my most favorite friends from high school. Rhonda has a quiet, humble, and very kind presence. She radiates love & nurturing. Often I have had the thought that we would be very good friends if we only lived closer and saw each other more. I feel like we are cut from a similar cookie cutter if you know what I mean.

Here is what Rhonda has to say about aging gracefully:

"To be honest I'm finally feeling comfortable in my skin. I had my first child when I was 17, which made me different from my peers. It made me feel isolated in a way. It took me almost half my life to realize that a mom is who I was meant to be and love it. In this second half of my life I'm feeling comfortable and proud with who I am, the mother of four grown sons. I do feel my faith, exercise, and meditation pulled me through. I also feel you have to value who you are, before the world can value what you do.

This is a great motto that a friend sent to me:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Great quote. Thank you so much Rhonda.

Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom

Ever since I first saw Dr. Christiane Northrup on PBS many years ago I have been an admirer of hers. Next to my bed is what I consider to be my bible: Dr. Northrup’s first book titled Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom- Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing. The book is about achieving optimal health and fulfillment through a mind-body connection. I bought it for my 40th birthday and reference it frequently as a source of sound medical advice about the body, and the mind.

Along with Northrup’s vibrant personality, she first stole my heart when I heard her say that PMS is a time each month when what needs adjustment in our life gets highlighted. Kind of like the things that we need to work on get put under a magnifying glass. PMS, I learned, is actually a gift, when all along I had been thinking of it as a time each month that I needed to disregard!

Dr. Northrup says many very wise things. Another great line of hers (among several) that caught my attention in the above video is  “All healing, all flourishing, comes from the story we continually tell ourselves.”

We are what we eat, but we are also what we think about. Or as Cindy said, “What we think is what we become.”

So true.

When you have a minute click on the above clip of Dr. Northrup. It might be one of the most informative and reassuring ten minutes you’ll spend this week, or maybe even all month.

Have a good few days everyone.

Aging Gracefully by Down-Shifting

This week's Aging Beauty is Ellen Ross ( Ellen Louise Ross) who is 62 years old. Ellen’s 99-year mom and my mom are first cousins. Ellen is also the niece of Arthur who lived to be almost 102. When I was in 3rd grade I very excitedly was Ellen’s flower girl. Ellen is a loving mom to two almost-out-of-the–house boys. She is also a picture of naturalness and wholesomeness, and is an all around wonderful person who I have enjoyed spending time with over the years. I wish I saw her more.

When I first told Ellen about Lines of Beauty she wrote back and said that she is aging gracefully with wrinkles and gray hair- accentuated by putting out teenage fires at the age of 62.

I can relate!

She also wrote: “Things shift at mid-life if we can slow down enough to listen to that small voice within. Slowing down helps to enable us to listen to ourselves, and others as you so aptly referred to in your article about eating. Secondly, look for the positive in any situation and realize that every decade gets better!”

What every decade gets better?

I love this and so far I've found it’s true as well.

Lastly, Ellen recommends Dr. Christiane Northrup’s talk on Hayhouse Radio about the mid-life transition. “Apparently, our real selves and real voices begin to emerge to take care of ourselves", said Ellen.

Our real selves and real voices begin to emerge to take care of ourselves.

This is very important thing to remember and listen to I’d say.

It’s very comforting actually.

Thank you Ellen for sharing your great insights. XO

What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change

A few months ago Meredith Vieira from the The Today Show did a great interview with two former models-turned-therapists named Vivian Diller and Jill Muir-Sukenick who have written a wonderful book called Face It- What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change. The book is also about aging with grace and switching our internal dialogue about aging from one of fear, to one of optimism.

Face It coaches us to accept growing older and be happy about it. The challenge the authors put forth is: “Can we keep youthful optimism in our hearts and minds while letting our faces follow their natural course?”

What do you all think?

I think we can.

Forbes has an interesting & very useful excerpt from Face It on their site about the six steps to resolving the beauty and age paradox.

I think one of the important things to mention about our generation is that we can’t look to our mothers as role models in one sense because they didn’t age during a time when society was asking them to try and be eternally young. For one thing our mothers didn’t have to an option to use botox and all the other face freshening options that are available to us now. For another, many of our mothers didn’t have careers and have to worry about how aging was going to affect their place in the work force. The authors of Face It say that we owe it to ourselves, and our daughters & nieces etc, to provide a better role model for growing older.

I couldn’t agree more.

Thank you doctors Vivian Diller and Jill Muir-Sukenick for your wisdom, and for writing such a thought provoking and optimistic book. Thank you for jumping on the bandwagon to help change the conversation.

Aging Gracefully with Forgiveness

This week's Aging Beauty is my friend Adrian Leone who is 44 years old, or young, as she says. Adrian is down-to-earth, smart, sweet, and a beauty. Her perspective, and the thoughtful questions she asks, always intrigue me. When I first emailed Adrian to tell her about Lines of Beauty she wrote back and said, “I am totally with you (with my veiny, dry and cracked hands – which I sort of love). Bring on the aging – I welcome it, aspire to it and hope for it.”

Here are more of Adrian’s words of wisdom for aging gracefully:

• I strive for forgiveness – of myself and others – every day. Yes, it is super challenging some days.
• I am a firm believer in outdoor time – walking or biking on the bike path. I never listen to music because I love to experience the early morning quiet and listen to the sounds of nature.
• I love to cook nourishing, vegetable rich meals.

Adrian has been laid up recently on crutches with a broken ankle and unable of course to do many of the things she loves. She says that she could definitely be handling it more gracefully but the good news is that it will pass!

A good thing to keep in mind for all of us when we encounter hard times don’t you think?

Thanks so much Adrian for your contribution.

Feeding Ourselves

In my research on aging gracefully I have, not surprisingly, come across some statistics about the growing connection between eating disorders and women’s desire for cosmetic surgery. I imagine, for some women, there must also be a connection between yo-yo dieting and the fear of growing older as well.

When I was nineteen I had been struggling with emotional eating for several years. I was obsessed with food, had a poor body image, and wasn't able to listen to my body for it's hunger/full signals. As you probably know, using food to self-medicate is not unlike an addiction to alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, etc. I was eating not just when I was hungry but also frequently when I was bored, tired, mad, sad, frustrated, anxious, lonely, or feeling fat.Thankfully though, when I was a sophomore at Boston University, I enrolled in a workshop in Cambridge, MA called Feeding Ourselves that transformed the way I think about food and the way I continue to nourish myself to this day.

Feeding Ourselves was created by psychologist Dr. Emily Fox Kale’s in 1975 and is luckily still going strong today for anyone over the age of 18. If you don’t live near Boston, they also have a CD of the program that you can purchase on their site that is very helpful. Plus they do weekend workshops now which allows the program to be more accessible to people who come from a distance.

Feeding Ourselves taught me, among other things, to eat consciously. It taught me to eat what I am craving and not eat what I think I should eat. It taught me be very aware of my hunger/full signals. It also gave me some very useful tools for coping. Our hunger/full signals are not unlike the other signals our body gives us when we are thirsty, have to pee, are overheated, or tired etc. Over time the skills I learned in Feeding Ourselves became second nature to me and I was able to shed twenty-five pounds, which I’ve kept off effortlessly for 30 years.

So I say next time you’re hungry don’t reach for the salad if it’s not what you are craving. Reach for a piece of cake if it’s what you really want. The goal is to satisfy your hunger with what will really satisfy you, not with what your head is telling you to eat. Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. Believe me, it is so liberating.

Here’s a little experiment some of you might like to try:

For one week, every time you are truly hungry eat just what you are craving and stop eating when you are full. The next time you are hungry again do the same thing. I graze all day long like this- eating lots of little meals and snacks- allowing, and trusting, my body to nourish itself. I know this sounds scary just trusting yourself to eat whatever you want but you’ll lose weight if you eat small amounts of what you love when you are truly hungry, and stop eating when you are full. You have to get quiet to be able to listen to yourself like this. Conscious eating is not something that is easily done when you’re at a party!  I think conscious eating is partly about being your own best friend.

Also, keeping a journal is a very helpful thing to do when trying to change any personal behavior that we are “fed up” with.

Self-reflection is a very useful tool :-)